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Newest Member: Notoverher (61488)

User Topic: Any book suggestions for the conflict-avoidant?
♀ 18764
Member # 18764
Default  Posted: 12:05 PM, January 19th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I need book suggestions for my H to read to help him understand what conflict avoidance is, how it manifests itself and what behaviors (ie. lying) are related to it.

My H has no clue what conflict avoidance even is but said he would be willing to read up on it. He has never even heard the term before I brought it to his attention.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Me: BW 51
FWH: 52
Married 28 years
DD 26 DS 24
Reconciled 110%

Posts: 12737 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: PA
looking forward
♀ 25238
Member # 25238
Default  Posted: 7:07 PM, January 19th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I googled and found a lot of references and articles, most scholarly and wordy.

BH and I have an extensive library of books now, and all cover communication issues.
So I would recommend:
Intimate Partners: Patterns In Love And Marriage (Scarf)
The Secret Of Letting Go (Finley)
Forgiveness: How To Make Peace With Your Past And Get On With Your Life (Simon & Simon)
Living The Truth (Ablow)

These books are highly readable and not only give insight into marriage and partnerships and the self, but also are great topics of conversations and discussions between us.
Good Luck ~ lf

Memory and hope; one looks backward, and the other forward; one is of today, the other of tomorrow. Together more than 49 years.
"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain." (Joseph Campbell)

Posts: 3248 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: Where a river runs through it
♀ 2435
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 11:30 PM, January 19th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

--Alberti, Robert E. & Emmons, Michael L. Your Perfect Right: Assertiveness and Equality in Your Life and Relationships 2008
--Bower, S. A. & Bower, G. H. Asserting Yourself: A Practical Guide for Positive Change 1991
--Davidson, Jeff The Complete Idiot's Guide to Assertiveness 1997
--Lloyd, Sam R. Developing Positive Assertiveness: Practical Techniques for Personal Success 2001
--Paterson, Randy J. The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships 2000

D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
♀ 9344
Member # 9344
Default  Posted: 5:38 AM, March 11th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


She packed up her potential and all she had learned and headed out to change a few things.

Posts: 7763 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: Poolside
Topic Posts: 4

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