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Newest Member: Else (61873)

User Topic: Infidelity books being triggers
♀ 28465
Member # 28465
Default  Posted: 7:57 AM, October 10th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is anyone else finding this? After the Affair has been hard for me to read because OW's name is mentioned several times. Not Just Friends had a scenario with her name too. FWH's first name is very common so it was in one of the books. Seems like I just cannot get away from this even in trying to help myself!

Me - BW 36
Him - FWH 38 SLA (newlywednupset)
M < 1 year
D-days 8/2009 and 4/2010 TT to 10/2010
3 OW over the course of 2 years, all older, one married.
* My husband was in an open relationship from day one, he just failed to tell ME this.*

Posts: 1048 | Registered: May 2010 | From: FL
♀ 18659
Member # 18659
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, October 12th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After I first found out, I also found lots of triggers in infidelity books. So what I did was only read the portions that were supportive to me and left the more difficult areas until I was ready to read them. Reading about what I was going through was much more healing initially.

In the first few months I gave a flying-f about what my now FWH was going through.

BS - me 55
WS - H 56
DDay 3/28/07 I was 53, H 55)
3 kids 23.21.18
married 31 years
together 30

Posts: 580 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: California
♀ 26152
Member # 26152
Default  Posted: 5:12 PM, October 12th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The biggest trigger related to a book about infidelity was when, while looking for a book at the bookstore, I came upon one which was written by someone with the same (very unusual) last name as OW. Pulled the book off the shelf, opened it up to the dedication page, and I shit you was dedicated to OW and her husband, who epitomized the beauty of young love. The author was her father-in-law, a well known Christian writer/pastor who specializes in healing a marriage after infidelity.

I still can't believe that happened to me. Or that my stbxwh was f*cking around with the wife of a man whose father wrote books about infidelity.

Me --> BS
D-Day 10-1988
D-Day 9-12-2005
S 9-13-2005
D 3-6-12

Posts: 1500 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Kentucky
♀ 27939
Member # 27939
Default  Posted: 8:58 AM, October 13th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It seems like an important stage to go through. I read all the books, and even though I triggered all over the place, it was part of my emotional healing. You gotta cry for a while, then know when it's time to chuck all the books and move on.

They helped me understand so much and become stronger and wiser.

and omg, your story is incredible (to last post)

[This message edited by optimist at 8:59 AM, October 13th (Wednesday)]

Me: 39 Divorced April 4 2009
Kids: 9, 12 and 14 ALL AMAZING
My past... is my past now...

Posts: 261 | Registered: Mar 2010
Topic Posts: 4

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