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ozzy344 (original poster member #29538) posted at 4:35 PM on Monday, January 10th, 2011
Hi, can anyone recommend any good self help books. Not the books about repairing relationships (beyond that), or even understanding how the affair happened, but something to get me out of the funk/new limbo of where do I go from here.
Physically, I have kicked myself into shape and am actively socially. Just feel that mentally I need to get into shape.
BS-30 (ok, 40)
xWW-43
M-13yrs
2 boys - 10+13
Dday 1 - 16/12/09
Dday 2 - 26/08/10
Separated since 1st October 2010
Divorced since 8th November 2010
Say Fuck It, and move on. Life is the present and the future. The past is just to learn from
SwitchedOnLotus ( member #25902) posted at 10:18 PM on Tuesday, January 11th, 2011
A great book I've been using to help me get my psyche healed after getting the rest of my life in order after all of this is "Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem" by Dr. Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning.
There are exercises you do that help you shut down your inner critic - something I had problems with before the A and its fallout, but which the A amplified - and that help you set and achieve healthy goals for who you want to be. Can't recommend it highly enough! Hope this helps. 
BS - SwitchedOnLotus, 35
WH - 40 4 Month EA/ PA D-Day 1:7-2009/D-Day 2: 10-29-2009
11-29-09 Began R/9-02-10 A in past,M bttr thn B4
"It isn't what happens to us that matters, but how we choose to interpret it and react"
WhoIsThisWoman ( member #27424) posted at 6:39 PM on Tuesday, January 25th, 2011
My therapist recommended the following that I just picked up from the bookstore today:
The Wise Heart - Jack Kornfield
Calming your Anxious Mind - Jeffrey Brantley
Let me know if anyone has read them...
Me: 40 yo
STBXWW: 41 yo
Married 15 years, 4 kids.
EA in '07
PA in '09 (same OM)
looking forward ( member #25238) posted at 7:55 PM on Tuesday, January 25th, 2011
Living the Truth by Keith Ablow, MD
Together more than 57 years, Married 52 years. Sober since 2009. "You've always had the power, my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself." (The Wizard of Oz)
Fighting2Survive ( member #28410) posted at 1:03 AM on Wednesday, January 26th, 2011
I'll second "Living the Truth." I picked it off a list of books for WS here on SI for FWH. We've both read it and found it helpful. He's using the exercises now as a sounding board for his IC. I don't think the benefits are limited to WS's only.
Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well
"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces
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