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Newest Member: m0ntp17 (61474)

User Topic: Recommendations for self help books
♂ 29538
Member # 29538
Default  Posted: 10:35 AM, January 10th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi, can anyone recommend any good self help books. Not the books about repairing relationships (beyond that), or even understanding how the affair happened, but something to get me out of the funk/new limbo of where do I go from here.

Physically, I have kicked myself into shape and am actively socially. Just feel that mentally I need to get into shape.

BS-30 (ok, 40)
2 boys - 10+13
Dday 1 - 16/12/09
Dday 2 - 26/08/10
Separated since 1st October 2010
Divorced since 8th November 2010

Say Fuck It, and move on. Life is the present and the future. The past is just to learn from

Posts: 201 | Registered: Sep 2010
♀ 25902
Member # 25902
Default  Posted: 4:18 PM, January 11th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A great book I've been using to help me get my psyche healed after getting the rest of my life in order after all of this is "Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem" by Dr. Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning.

There are exercises you do that help you shut down your inner critic - something I had problems with before the A and its fallout, but which the A amplified - and that help you set and achieve healthy goals for who you want to be. Can't recommend it highly enough! Hope this helps.

BS - SwitchedOnLotus, 35
WH - 40 4 Month EA/ PA D-Day 1:7-2009/D-Day 2: 10-29-2009
11-29-09 Began R/9-02-10 A in past,M bttr thn B4
"It isn't what happens to us that matters, but how we choose to interpret it and react"

Posts: 518 | Registered: Oct 2009
♂ 27424
Member # 27424
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, January 25th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My therapist recommended the following that I just picked up from the bookstore today:

The Wise Heart - Jack Kornfield

Calming your Anxious Mind - Jeffrey Brantley

Let me know if anyone has read them...

Me: 40 yo
STBXWW: 41 yo
Married 15 years, 4 kids.
EA in '07
PA in '09 (same OM)

Posts: 250 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: PA, USA
looking forward
♀ 25238
Member # 25238
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, January 25th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Living the Truth by Keith Ablow, MD

Memory and hope; one looks backward, and the other forward; one is of today, the other of tomorrow. Together more than 49 years.
"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain." (Joseph Campbell)

Posts: 3248 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: Where a river runs through it
♀ 28410
Member # 28410
Default  Posted: 7:03 PM, January 25th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'll second "Living the Truth." I picked it off a list of books for WS here on SI for FWH. We've both read it and found it helpful. He's using the exercises now as a sounding board for his IC. I don't think the benefits are limited to WS's only.

Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces

Posts: 7279 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: NC
Topic Posts: 5

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