I saw a reference to this in one of the other fora, but I can't find the ref now. I bought this book, and I have few comments.
First, I'm ADD without much medication, and this isn't the easiest read on infidelity, so if you disagree with anything I say about the book, please contribute.
Second, Ortman is a former Catholic priest, so he talks a lot in Christian terms, but he also brings in concepts from Buddhism and Native American thought & sprituality.
Cons: Ortman seems to say that the BS is likely to be co-dependant and to bear some responsibility for the A.
Also, on page 37 he states that women are good at handling feelings, while men just deal with problems.
None of these positions are well supported by what I see on SI or by what I experience myself: 1) BSes don't cause infidelity; 2) I haven't seen a lot of co-dependancy; 3) I have seen a significant number of men who handle their feelings as well as women do.
Pros: The trauma metaphor makes sense for infidelity, as far as I can tell. Ortman's model for recovery makes sense. His inclusion of Buddhist and Native American thought adds useful perspectives; by illustrating his points this way, the reader has a higher probability of getting something from the book. More important, in each section he offers exercises to help reduce the trauma, and I've found some of them useful.
Bottom line: If the classics (Not 'Just Friends', etc.) don't help you or don't help you enough, this might.
[This message edited by sisoon at 7:20 PM, March 26th (Saturday)]