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Newest Member: SadDadOf3 (46038)

User Topic: The four agreements
Taurusinpain
♀ 30284
Member # 30284
Default  Posted: 10:11 AM, May 14th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I read The Fifth Agreement and now working on The Four Agreements. Wow, it makes so much sense. I've found myself definitely more calm and less judgmental lately.

My IC recommend Ruiz's book for marriage/love, The Mastery of Love, has anyone read it?


BW - 38
FWH - 41, SA since around 2005
Dday 4/9/10
Months and months of TT torture.
DD born 3/1/13
In R? Feels like going witht the flow.
Trying to get used to the new "normal"

Posts: 396 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: The worst place I can be - inside my own brain
Helen of Troy
♀ 26419
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, May 16th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The 4 Agreements is one of my favorites. Thanks for the reminder to go back and reread. HAve not read the others you mentioned.

Posts: 4728 | Registered: Dec 2009
Deeply Scared
♀ 2
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 10:23 PM, May 16th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I started and finished The Four Agreements while my car was in for a tune up...it's a very short and easy read.

I loved it


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 199203 | Registered: May 2002
runoverbytruck
♀ 11752
Member # 11752
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, May 17th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome book. And the concepts are so simple.

I'm gonna dig up my copy and read it again now....


LTA BS

If you think the grass is greener on the other side, it's because it's fertilized with bullshit.

The best protection a woman can have is courage.~Elizabeth Cady Stanton


Posts: 6814 | Registered: Aug 2006
Gentlewarrior
♀ 33305
Member # 33305
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, September 9th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was going to post a plug for this book, but I'm happy to see it was already mentioned.

Since I'm a WS I am re-reading this every few days, but I think it would also be great for BS's, because it deals with forgiveness and trust as well as honesty and goodwill.

This book is like a spiritual instruction manual for how to be a whole, healed person. I've read a lot of self-help and spiritual books, and this one is the best, by far. I can't recommend it enough!



WW - me, 41
BS - him, 45
Married 12 years
1 D, 5
Confessed to 2 PA's 8/11
Trying to R

Posts: 6 | Registered: Sep 2011
surviving101
♂ 33181
Member # 33181
Default  Posted: 10:31 PM, September 18th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Guys, believe me or not, but I had the pleasure to spend 4 days with Miguel Ruiz and his wife... just me and them for four days while I was in the worst part of the post A crisis... they visited my country and they are good friends with my sister so they relied on me to show them around... I got to cry in their shoulders 4 days straight... I am honest to say I had not even read the book by then (I read it after they left) so I was not star-struck or anything like it... they were amazing, they are the real deal... they helped me detach from my WW a little (have to be honest also in this issue), just a little bit... even Miguel Ruiz could not take me out of this hell hole as he says "you need to live it and grow from it"... "but she is a bitch and she does not deserve you"... I loved him.


"I don't want to spoil the rest of your movie... but at the end everything will be all right."

Posts: 461 | Registered: Aug 2011
tiredandhurt
♀ 33059
Member # 33059
Default  Posted: 7:44 AM, September 19th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have not read these books, however, my STBXH took them up as his guide while conducting his affair and making the decision to walk away from his family. I glanced at the books on barnes and noble, seemed kinda cultish - but I had my bias. For those that have read the agreements, can you see or explain how my STBXH could have taken the information from them and manipulated it into permission to go off with OW to live happily ever after? I'm sure the books were not written for this type of outcome from within a person, but it does sicken me to know that he treats these books like his bibles now and I do want to blame his manipulations of the readings for his lousy and hurtful choices. Anyone?

Posts: 282 | Registered: Aug 2011
jjct
♂ 17484
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:41 AM, September 20th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((tiredandhurt)))
Now THAT sucks...and it makes me think...do you know? Some WS's even use the Bible for excuses, so
if they can do that, well...
anything anywhere is pretty much fair game for excuse-whisperers, kwim?

Posts: 6840 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
sable
♀ 32869
Member # 32869
Default  Posted: 10:24 AM, September 26th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((tiredandhurt)))
Now THAT sucks...and it makes me think...do you know? Some WS's even use the Bible for excuses, so
if they can do that, well...
anything anywhere is pretty much fair game for excuse-whisperers,
Yeah, i agree, that's terrible, using a book as a weapon or a way to justify hurtful behavior. My abusive ex used the Bible in such a way and I don't view it as the Bible's fault - it was his.

I personally loved this book and I look forward to picking up The Fifth Agreement someday. I don't see anything cultish about it, if anything, it the opposite.


I'm the BW. M 10+ yrs, 1 child. Trying to R
DD 1: 7/18/11 Sexting/EA, caught before it went PA. Met OW#1 on AM
DD2: 5/31/13 - 6/1/13 2-Day PA with OW#2. Claimed she was a therapist and knew he was married.

Posts: 159 | Registered: Jul 2011
Topic Posts: 9

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