Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: Krissz (61514)

User Topic: Torn Asunder
♀ 30381
Member # 30381
Default  Posted: 8:26 AM, May 20th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Has anyone read Torn Asunder by Dave Carder? My new IC wants me to read it.

As of Oct, 2010:
BW(me) 35; WH 36; employee OW 21 Together 18 years, married 9 (onlies..until OW)
DD 3, DS 7;
D-day 7/2010
D Final Nov 30, 2011

Posts: 650 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: FL
♂ 25152
Member # 25152
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, May 20th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I began reading it early on during my reading frenzy after DDay. Unfortunately for me Dave Carder wording triggered me terribly and I gave up on the book and workbook. He mentioned several times how the BS had to own up to "their part in the affair" and I just did not want to read any more of what he had to say. A couple of people in my BAN group have read it and were able (with struggle) to get past that and say it is very good. Just be forewarned.

Posts: 269 | Registered: Aug 2009
♂ 15162
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, May 20th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This was one of the first books I read that gave me hope. I don't remember the blame thing now, but in my defense, I read it at the point where I wasn't able to sleep because it was all so new

Overall, I think it was more helpful than harmful

FBH - 46
FWW - 47 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 11 & 16

The people you do your life with shape the life you live

Posts: 47089 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
♀ 21154
Member # 21154
Default  Posted: 7:43 PM, May 21st (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm with jollum. I had to chuck it. I refused to take any blame in my H's A. Not then-Not Ever.

Faithful Wife of 24+ yrs: Me
WS: Him

Status: Struggling Everday to

what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another-Anatole France

Posts: 2184 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: New Jersey
♀ 32430
Member # 32430
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, June 8th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I also started reading this shortly after the discovery. Hate this book. Like you said, wants me to own up to my part. Which part would that be I wonder? Maybe the part where I was sacrificing everything for his dream to get through school and supporting the whole family? Maybe the part where I got seriously ill with my last daughter and diagnosed with a heart problem? I think this guy can shove it. Liked the book until it tried to tell me I was at fault. Eff that! My WS and I had a much better relationship when he apparently thought it was bad than we do now.

BS(me) 34
fWH 38 (Epicallyfailedu)
OW/xBFF of 28 years
Four girls under 11
DDay: 6/5/2010

Posts: 2018 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Michigan
♂ 29567
Member # 29567
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, June 8th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am with Jollum, started reading it and didnt agree with it my part of the affair. None of it was my fault.

Me-BS 36
Her--WW 35

D-Day 9-1-10---she spent the whole summer talking to him

Stuggling through R

Posts: 184 | Registered: Sep 2010
Hearthache again
♀ 28564
Member # 28564
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, June 23rd (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I read it most of it. I didn't get the blame feeling from it though. I did like how he described the different kind of affairs.

Married-14 years together 15
Kids 4: 17, 14, 10, and 5
DDay#1 9-26-2008 Dday#2 4-26-2010
We have R!!! But I still hate the number 26!

This too shall pass
I edit a lot because that stupid box is so small!

Posts: 902 | Registered: May 2010 | From: Michigan
Topic Posts: 7

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2017 All Rights Reserved.