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stupidstupidme (original poster member #11888) posted at 3:17 PM on Thursday, July 21st, 2011
I went to the bookstore last night to pick up Journey from Abandonment to Healing... I ended up with this other book - Don't Call That Man.
What I love about it is that it is just direct, and REAL. Not that some of those other self help things don't work - but I am just not disciplined enough to sit and close my eyes, and focus on what i hear... blah blah blah.
I need point blank direction and validation for my feelings, and this book is GREAT.
I highly recommend it for anyone in my situation - trying to keep NC - suffering from abandonment issues, and having a hard time.
Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength
August Wilson
click4it ( member #209) posted at 8:35 PM on Thursday, July 21st, 2011
Wish I had seen that book long ago. 
Me: 45
Two boys: 20 and 17
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01
Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?
stupidstupidme (original poster member #11888) posted at 8:40 PM on Thursday, July 21st, 2011
In one chapter, she talks about what to do when you are angry - exercise, take a martial arts class, etc...
Then talks about ways to cope during depressed and sad moments... like talking to friends, write a letter to the person (don't give it to them), or some sort of ceremony to "end" the relationship in your mind.
Well there's some good questions at the end of the chapter, asking to list how the person has hurt you. what did they do to make you angry, etc...
Then is said what is a way you could sort of "celebrate" the end of the relationship with some type of ceremonial type thing... I wrote "burn all his shit in the lawn?"
Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength
August Wilson
click4it ( member #209) posted at 8:47 PM on Thursday, July 21st, 2011
burning all the shit on the lawn is something that sounds good to me! 
Me: 45
Two boys: 20 and 17
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01
Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?
mmrichet ( member #32475) posted at 6:34 PM on Friday, July 22nd, 2011
Funny because I have the first book you mentioned on hold for me at the library..
Seems I might go on a search for the one you bought...
I need all the help I can get..
Blindbat ( member #29495) posted at 8:25 AM on Thursday, July 28th, 2011
SSM, have you come across the Baggage Reclaim web site? Sounds like it would suit your current state of mind
Noli illegitimi carborundum
Not yet as divorced as I'd like to be :-(
stupidstupidme (original poster member #11888) posted at 5:14 PM on Thursday, July 28th, 2011
Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength
August Wilson
cass ( member #24261) posted at 7:49 PM on Thursday, July 28th, 2011
I've only just heard of this site too. Good reading and great for self esteem.
DDay - April 2008
Me - 58 and doing great, alone.
Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket!
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