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User
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Topic: How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair: A Compact Manual
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Louise2011
♀ 33383
Member # 33383 |  Posted: 7:49 PM, November 8th (Tuesday), 2011 |     |
It's available as a e-book (delivered instantly) for $7.99 form amazon, as well as paper copy for $10.99.
My WH loved this book, I made him read it in one night as requirement to being let back in the house after he broke NC a few weeks after "dday". ...and he HATES to read.. it was very "manual" like. Alot of these books seem to be written for women, this one is readable for a man.
Me: BW Him:fWH M 5 years July
DDay: Sept 4,2011 to Oct 3rd (Continuous NC Breaking)
2 DS's - almost 2 and 3.5 years
"All I have in this world is my balls and my word - and I don't break them for no one." Tony Montana, Scarface
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Posts: 195 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: British Columbia |
Louise2011
♀ 33383
Member # 33383 | | Posted: 7:50 PM, November 8th (Tuesday), 2011 | |
It's like anti-fog spray in a book! 
Me: BW Him:fWH M 5 years July
DDay: Sept 4,2011 to Oct 3rd (Continuous NC Breaking)
2 DS's - almost 2 and 3.5 years
"All I have in this world is my balls and my word - and I don't break them for no one." Tony Montana, Scarface
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Posts: 195 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: British Columbia |
Crushed1
♀ 6449
Member # 6449 | | Posted: 11:47 PM, November 8th (Tuesday), 2011 | |
I keep hearing about this book, it must be very good.
What's it like?
~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH
Posts: 9992 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas |
Laura28
♀ 28997
Member # 28997 | | Posted: 5:51 AM, November 9th (Wednesday), 2011 | |
Brilliant
My FWH is not a reader.
In fact I don't think he has ever read a book from cover to cover.
I gave it to him with a highlighter and said "Read it".
He started one afternoon about 2pm. I kept saying you don't have to read it all today. He kept reading and highlighting and didn't stop until he was finished.
Highly recommend it.
Laura
Married 32yrs Me BW 58Yrs Him FWH 60yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA 16+ years).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"
Posts: 2767 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia |
Louise2011
♀ 33383
Member # 33383 | | Posted: 1:21 PM, November 9th (Wednesday), 2011 | |
Hi Crushed,
You can preview for free the table of contents and introduction & cover pages on Amazon.com
Basically it's written by a therapist/councellor who has specialized in infidelity for 20years or so. Based on the couples he has councelled he lays out the steps that WS's take who are successful in re-building their marriages. I especially liked how it explains that comparing an affair to a real realationship is a non-sensical comparison. Also that it is their duty to take on the role of healer.
Me: BW Him:fWH M 5 years July
DDay: Sept 4,2011 to Oct 3rd (Continuous NC Breaking)
2 DS's - almost 2 and 3.5 years
"All I have in this world is my balls and my word - and I don't break them for no one." Tony Montana, Scarface
&
Posts: 195 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: British Columbia |
silverhopes
♀ 32753
Member # 32753 | | Posted: 6:00 PM, October 12th (Friday), 2012 | |
+1
imho, the best book out there for the WS.
Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.
Posts: 4008 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California |
SisterMilkshake
♀ 30024
Member # 30024 | | Posted: 6:59 PM, October 12th (Friday), 2012 | |
My husband read it and liked it. However, he felt he had already basically got all the same information from the thread in the Wayward forum called "Things every WS needs to know..." I read the book also and agree with his assessment. It just elaborates more on the things the thread brings up. It probably adds some things, too, but can't think of any off hand.
I recommend the thread and the book!
BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson
Posts: 10499 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA |
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349 | | Posted: 10:54 PM, October 12th (Friday), 2012 | |
This book helped my FWH "get it" for sure. 
"All the wars, all the hatred, all the ignorance in the world come out of being so invested in our opinions. And at bottom, those opinions are merely our efforts to escape the underlying uneasiness of being human. - Pema Chodron
Posts: 20909 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California |
Diva0702
♀ 32309
Member # 32309 | | Posted: 4:07 AM, October 13th (Saturday), 2012 | |
This is interesting. I got a copy for my FWH to read when he gets home in November. I purposely haven't read it because I don't want to be influenced to put my 'two pence worth' in!
Although we are well into R, my H sometimes needs some additional assistance to 'understand' some things, and from what everyone is saying here, this book will definately benefit his knowledge and understanding. Thankyou.
Me: BW 53
Him: FWH 47
4 wonderful grown children
2 beautiful grandchildren
Married 20 years
Together 23 years
Dday March 10 2010. 4 yr A.
Me: RGN(ret), N.Dip.,BA(Psych),MA (Psych),BA Music.
OW: 55 year old taxi driver
Posts: 333 | Registered: May 2011 | From: UK |
SecondHelping
♂ 36796
Member # 36796 | | Posted: 7:12 PM, October 13th (Saturday), 2012 | |
My WW read it and then I asked if it's worth me reading so she gave it to me to read.
Great book.
D-Day 1: Feb 1990
D-Day 2: 3 Sep 2012 (3 month EA/3 week PA)
BS 49, fWW 43 (Amibroken)
OP- Police Chief (Age 37)
M 25 Yrs, 3 Kids (17, 14, 11)
I initated the relationship at the Railway Tavern, she tried to end it at Scrap Tavern
Posts: 523 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Delmarva |
sj81
♀ 36538
Member # 36538 | | Posted: 5:50 AM, October 25th (Thursday), 2012 | |
My WH read this, He said it was really good and helpful.
It's one of the only books that he has bothered to finish. He usually starts with good intentions then looses interest.
Posts: 31 | Registered: Aug 2012 |
Sissi12
♀ 37163
Member # 37163 | | Posted: 5:56 PM, November 2nd (Friday), 2012 | |
How much research and self-help books is your WS doing/reading? Why are we the ones that need to suggest (fix) things?
BS
Posts: 24 | Registered: Oct 2012 |
SecondHelping
♂ 36796
Member # 36796 | | Posted: 8:30 PM, November 2nd (Friday), 2012 | |
How much research and self-help books is your WS doing/reading? Why are we the ones that need to suggest (fix) things?
I can't get my WW to read anything. She read this book and one chapter from another book. It pisses me off that I am trying to learn all I can and she isn't lifting a finger. She is remorseful and patient and we are in HB, but other than that, nada...
Her IC is so spaced apart it's not doing anything. [This message edited by SecondHelping at 8:30 PM, November 2nd (Friday)]
D-Day 1: Feb 1990
D-Day 2: 3 Sep 2012 (3 month EA/3 week PA)
BS 49, fWW 43 (Amibroken)
OP- Police Chief (Age 37)
M 25 Yrs, 3 Kids (17, 14, 11)
I initated the relationship at the Railway Tavern, she tried to end it at Scrap Tavern
Posts: 523 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Delmarva |
| Topic Posts: 13 | |
