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How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair: A Compact Manual

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Louise2011 posted 11/8/2011 19:49 PM

It's available as a e-book (delivered instantly) for $7.99 form amazon, as well as paper copy for $10.99.

My WH loved this book, I made him read it in one night as requirement to being let back in the house after he broke NC a few weeks after "dday". ...and he HATES to read.. it was very "manual" like. Alot of these books seem to be written for women, this one is readable for a man.

Louise2011 posted 11/8/2011 19:50 PM

It's like anti-fog spray in a book!

Crushed1 posted 11/8/2011 23:47 PM

I keep hearing about this book, it must be very good.

What's it like?

Laura28 posted 11/9/2011 05:51 AM


My FWH is not a reader.

In fact I don't think he has ever read a book from cover to cover.

I gave it to him with a highlighter and said "Read it".

He started one afternoon about 2pm. I kept saying you don't have to read it all today. He kept reading and highlighting and didn't stop until he was finished.

Highly recommend it.


Louise2011 posted 11/9/2011 13:21 PM

Hi Crushed,

You can preview for free the table of contents and introduction & cover pages on

Basically it's written by a therapist/councellor who has specialized in infidelity for 20years or so. Based on the couples he has councelled he lays out the steps that WS's take who are successful in re-building their marriages. I especially liked how it explains that comparing an affair to a real realationship is a non-sensical comparison. Also that it is their duty to take on the role of healer.

silverhopes posted 10/12/2012 18:00 PM


imho, the best book out there for the WS.

SisterMilkshake posted 10/12/2012 18:59 PM

My husband read it and liked it. However, he felt he had already basically got all the same information from the thread in the Wayward forum called "Things every WS needs to know..." I read the book also and agree with his assessment. It just elaborates more on the things the thread brings up. It probably adds some things, too, but can't think of any off hand.

I recommend the thread and the book!

Jrazz posted 10/12/2012 22:54 PM

This book helped my FWH "get it" for sure.

Diva0702 posted 10/13/2012 04:07 AM

This is interesting. I got a copy for my FWH to read when he gets home in November. I purposely haven't read it because I don't want to be influenced to put my 'two pence worth' in!

Although we are well into R, my H sometimes needs some additional assistance to 'understand' some things, and from what everyone is saying here, this book will definately benefit his knowledge and understanding. Thankyou.

SecondHelping posted 10/13/2012 19:12 PM

My WW read it and then I asked if it's worth me reading so she gave it to me to read.

Great book.

sj81 posted 10/25/2012 05:50 AM

My WH read this, He said it was really good and helpful.
It's one of the only books that he has bothered to finish. He usually starts with good intentions then looses interest.

Sissi12 posted 11/2/2012 17:56 PM

How much research and self-help books is your WS doing/reading? Why are we the ones that need to suggest (fix) things?


SecondHelping posted 11/2/2012 20:30 PM

How much research and self-help books is your WS doing/reading? Why are we the ones that need to suggest (fix) things?

I can't get my WW to read anything. She read this book and one chapter from another book. It pisses me off that I am trying to learn all I can and she isn't lifting a finger. She is remorseful and patient and we are in HB, but other than that, nada...

Her IC is so spaced apart it's not doing anything.

[This message edited by SecondHelping at 8:30 PM, November 2nd (Friday)]

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