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Newest Member: infiniti (61794)

User Topic: I need something to help just me heal
♀ 33697
Member # 33697
Default  Posted: 10:33 AM, November 18th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

he has made it clear he no longer wants our marriage... I cannot let him beat me up emotionally anymore so I will no longer try to patch it up. I'm done.

Any recommendations?

Me (BS) - 49
WS - 51
Daughters 18, 13 and 12
Married 24 years, currently divorcing-- not soon enough

Posts: 5018 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: New England
looking forward
♀ 25238
Member # 25238
Default  Posted: 2:45 PM, November 18th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Forgiveness ~ How To Make Peace With Your Past And Get On With Your Life by Dr. Sidney B. Simon and Suzanne Simon (ISBN 0-446-39259-6) ~ Based on their popular "Forgiveness" seminar, the author of Getting Unstuck and his wife designed to help readers let go of their pain and get on with their lives.

How Can I Forgive You? The Courage To Forgive, The Freedom Not To by Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D. (ISBN 0-06-000390-6) ~ Using illustrative material from her nearly 30 years as a therapist, the author outlines four approaches to forgiveness: (1) cheap forgiveness, which she sees as an inauthentic act of peacekeeping that resolves nothing; (2) refusing to forgive, which is categorized as a rigid response that keeps one entombed in hate; (3) acceptance, which is a healing gift that asks nothing of the offender; and (4) genuine forgiveness, which the author describes as a healing transaction and an intimate dance. Spring has discovered that we are all looking for "some new approach, that frees us from the corrosive effects of hate, gives voice to the injustice, and helps us to make peace with the person who hurt us and with ourselves." This self-help book is aimed at those who have done wrong and those who have been wronged.

Living the Truth by Keith Ablow, MD (ISBN 0-316-01782-5) ~ Dr. Keith Ablow, bestselling author and host of a new daily one-hour daytime-TV talk show, presents his first self-help book. Based on more than 20 years of clinical experience and highlighting stories from his own practice, Ablow shows how ignoring or burying painful memories and experiences can negatively affect every aspect of our lives, and he presents strategies to help the reader transform the pain of the past into the power of the future. In a world where short-term talk therapy and medication are the latest trends to "fixing" an unhappy life, Ablow's message is controversial. But though examining the past can be daunting, LIVING THE TRUTH is as comforting and rewarding as it is transformative. And through Ablow's fine storytelling skills, empathetic voice, and straight-up advice, the experience of reading this extraordinary book becomes the first step to living a truly authentic life.

The Secret of Letting Go by Guy Finley (ISBN 0-87542-223-3) ~ Guy Finley’s message of self-liberation has touched people around the world. Discover how to extinguish self-defeating thoughts and habits that undermine true happiness. Exploring relationships, depression, and stress, his inspiring words can help you let go of debilitating anxiety, unnecessary anger, paralyzing guilt, and painful heartache. True stories, revealing dialogues, and thought-provoking questions will guide you toward the endless source of inner strength and emotional freedom that resides within us all.

I recently discovered this author:

I thought this was a great book:
Happiness NOW! ~ Robert Holden, Ph.D.
Happiness NOW! is a truly powerful and radical exploration of one of life’s most treasured goals. Packed with rich insights and practical wisdom, it offers a message of profound hope and healing for a generation that is often too busy chasing happiness to be truly happy.

Robert Holden, Ph.D., presents a personal, warm, and entertaining account of how he developed his pioneering work with The Happiness Project. Using a highly creative mix of stories, exercises, meditations, poetry, and prayer, Robert shares his distinctive philosophy and practice of “the how of happiness.”

Memory and hope; one looks backward, and the other forward; one is of today, the other of tomorrow.
"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain." (Joseph Campbell)

Posts: 3264 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: Where a river runs through it
Member # 325
Default  Posted: 4:10 PM, November 18th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to be honest and say I never healed and don't expect to, but "The Happiness Makeover" by M.J. Ryan was the best book I've ever read, regarding just me. It has nothing to do with infidelity. I have probably read a couple of dozen self-help books and this is one of the only ones I would recommend.

She has written other books, as well. Here's her website to give you an idea of who she is.

Posts: 5662 | Registered: Jul 2002
♀ 24518
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 7:18 PM, November 18th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Two books that helped me a lot are The Journey From Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson and Emotional Freedom by Judith Orloff

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle is also highly recommended by some SIers.

There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown

Posts: 13042 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartof, Texas
♀ 30498
Member # 30498
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, November 19th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L Hay.

This has helped me in many facets of my life.


Married 25 years now divorced.
D-Day: 20/11/10
Me: 48.5 plus 10% GST
Him: mental age 6 (apologies to all 6 year olds)
Betrayal: Who cares anymore?

Posts: 1102 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Adelaide, South Australia
♀ 28753
Member # 28753
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, November 22nd (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's a little Business School 2007, but "Who Moved My Cheese" is a great embracing-change book. And it's short, so if you hate it, you've only lost a couple of hours of your life! And funny, though I'm not sure if it's supposed to be funny.

BS & D
Drinking wine and thinking bliss is on the other side of this.

Posts: 2370 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Baby steps on my new path
solus sto
♀ 30989
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 3:25 PM, December 8th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The book that helped me the very most was Susan Anderson's The Journey from Abandonment to Healing. I've read and re-read it---it's so helpful when learning how to move forward constructively.

It's available both in softcover and for Kindle.

BS-me, 55; WX-irrelevant
Divorced after an eternity
"So much for the past and present. The future is called 'perhaps,' which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the important thing is not to let that scare you." Tenn

Posts: 15343 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Topic Posts: 7

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