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"Codependant No More" has anyone read it?

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TryingForgivenes posted 12/3/2011 23:32 PM

I have been thinking about getting the book "Codependent No More". I wanted to know what other people thought of it, and if it helped anyone. Thanks :)

suddenlyisee posted 12/4/2011 08:01 AM

My former wife read ten pages of it and put it in a drawer....

Fighting2Survive posted 12/4/2011 10:22 AM

I read it, and I continue to go back to it when I need to. It was the first book (aside from "Not Just Friends") that hit me over the head like a ton of bricks after D-day, and it was THE book that started me on my own path to personal healing.

It is one that I recommend often to people here.

imagoodwitch posted 12/4/2011 10:22 AM

I read it and I should probably read it again.

You have to be really honest with yourself when you read it.

I would recommend it.

ScribblingMum posted 12/4/2011 11:23 AM

excellent...should be required reading...:)

TryingForgivenes posted 12/4/2011 13:45 PM

Great! Thanks everyone for the reviews. I will be downloading it today!

imagoodwitch posted 12/4/2011 16:06 PM

Promise me you will be honest with yourself.

It's going to hurt to read but in the long run you will be better for it.

TryingForgivenes posted 12/4/2011 23:35 PM

imagoodwitch, I will be honest with myself. I am willing to see the hard truth if it will help at all.

Fighting2Survive posted 12/4/2011 23:43 PM

After you finish "Codependent No More" and if you find that it rings true for you, there's an additional book that I would recommend, "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend. It's a Biblically-based guide to personal boundaries. I read both books in that order after our first MC recommended them to me.

Both hit me hard, but they helped move me into taking inventory of myself.

imagoodwitch is right about the codependent book. It does require sometimes brutal honesty, and it made me very uncomfortable the first time I read it. It was worth the experience though.

[This message edited by Fighting2Survive at 10:49 AM, December 5th (Monday)]

why2008 posted 12/5/2011 10:47 AM

I echo what the others have said. For me, the brutal honesty part of it was accepting that there was/is a "payback" that I receive in overdoing for people. For me, it was recognizing how being the child of an alcoholic set me up perfectly to be the caretaker of my WS and how I willingly accepted, embraced and facilitated the arrangement. Another way to think of it was how I contributed to

The odd thing is that once you no longer feel like the "victim" and take your part in changing your part of the dynamic the healthier you will be. I'm not saying that we own the responsibility for the infidelity that has been foisted upon us, but rather how we live our lives from here on out "Boundaries" from Cloud and Thompson.

Also I'm not very religious and found the Boundaries book to be very helpful. Cloud and Thompson are real psychologists/family therapists and their advice is spot on.

tatters posted 12/16/2011 17:25 PM

I read it years ago (when it was only slightly appropriate to me). I just reread it yesterday and today when it is TOTALLY appropriate to me, now that my husband is abusing painkillers.

I am in a lot of ways a classic codependent, so it has definitely helped me recognize what I need to do for myself to detach from my husband's addiction and his behavior and nurture myself.

Melody3 posted 12/16/2011 22:40 PM

Very good book.

I read it last fall and just picked it up at the library again this week.

Myheartstillhurt posted 12/20/2011 10:02 AM

I want to read this next after I am done reading "intimacy after infidelity".

I just realized this past week that my fWH and I are very much in a codependant relationship.

whatdoto posted 12/20/2011 10:12 AM

I just received my copy. I will be reading this over the holidays.

WH and I are also in a very codependent relationship. Not to mention he is Passive-Aggressive to boot.

I can't wait to start reading it!

[This message edited by whatdoto at 10:13 AM, December 20th (Tuesday)]

WhiteWolfWinning posted 12/20/2011 17:14 PM

I found this book to be amazingly helpful. I also agree that Boundaries is a good followup read.

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