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The Book Club :
Book on boundaries?

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 need2moveon (original poster member #31551) posted at 8:43 PM on Monday, March 26th, 2012

Can anyone recommend a good book on maintaining appropriate boundaries? Thanks so much!

Dday: 06/97

Doing better for about 7 solid years.

Reconciled for 20 years....

posts: 184   ·   registered: Mar. 18th, 2011
id 5761236
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authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 11:20 AM on Saturday, March 31st, 2012

Shirley Glass, Not Just Friends.

DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.

posts: 55165   ·   registered: Sep. 2nd, 2007
id 5769926
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Taurusinpain ( member #30284) posted at 2:57 PM on Saturday, March 31st, 2012

Are you talking about A related boundaries or boundaries in general every day life with everyone?

BW - 41
FWH - 43, SA since around 2005
Dday 4/9/10
Months and months of TT torture.
DD born 3/1/13
In R? Feels like going witht the flow.
Trying to get used to the new "normal"

posts: 396   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2010   ·   location: The worst place I can be - inside my own brain
id 5770039
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Fighting2Survive ( member #28410) posted at 4:24 PM on Saturday, March 31st, 2012

Not Just Friends: Rebuilding Trust & Restoring Your Sanity After Infidelity by Shirley P. Glass, PhD

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend

The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships by Harriet Lerner, PhD

Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie

Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices that Make or Break Loving Relationships by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend

All of these address boundaries even though some of them never use the word specifically.

Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces

posts: 7279   ·   registered: Apr. 30th, 2010   ·   location: NC
id 5770117
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hardlessons ( member #35025) posted at 1:22 AM on Tuesday, April 3rd, 2012

The first book I read after D Day was

Emotional Infidelity: How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage and 10 Other Secrets to a Great Relationship by Gary Neuman

And it was a mind blower for me, this should be required reading for all.

Me WH
Wife Tired Girl
3 adult sons
"a wayward...annnnd just a tad betrayed."

posts: 955   ·   registered: Mar. 8th, 2012   ·   location: Arizona
id 5773113
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silverhopes ( member #32753) posted at 8:29 PM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2013

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend

This book is amazing. I haven't read all of it (been trying to slowly for months) but there is a strong sense of reaching even farther back from now into FOO issues. It's such a valuable book.

So far the most helpful concept has been when people say no to the good or healthy and yes to the bad or unhealthy: reverse boundaries. What a wonderful book.

Aut viam inveniam aut faciam.

posts: 5270   ·   registered: Jul. 12th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6327933
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