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Topic: Book on boundaries?

need2moveon
♂ 31551
Member # 31551

Posted: 2:43 PM, March 26th (Monday), 2012

Can anyone recommend a good book on maintaining appropriate boundaries? Thanks so much!

Dday: 06/97

Why am I back here? You'd have to read my story to understand.....

Reconciled for 13 years....

Posts: 180 | Registered: Mar 2011

authenticnow
♀ 16024
Member # 16024

Posted: 5:20 AM, March 31st (Saturday), 2012

Shirley Glass, Not Just Friends.

“Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of “you’re not alone.” ~ Brene Brown

Posts: 54995 | Registered: Sep 2007

Taurusinpain
♀ 30284
Member # 30284

Posted: 8:57 AM, March 31st (Saturday), 2012

Are you talking about A related boundaries or boundaries in general every day life with everyone?

BW - 41
FWH - 43, SA since around 2005
Dday 4/9/10
Months and months of TT torture.
DD born 3/1/13
In R? Feels like going witht the flow.
Trying to get used to the new "normal"

Posts: 396 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: The worst place I can be - inside my own brain

Fighting2Survive
♀ 28410
Member # 28410

Posted: 10:24 AM, March 31st (Saturday), 2012

Not Just Friends: Rebuilding Trust & Restoring Your Sanity After Infidelity by Shirley P. Glass, PhD

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend

The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships by Harriet Lerner, PhD

Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie

Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices that Make or Break Loving Relationships by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend

All of these address boundaries even though some of them never use the word specifically.

Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces

Posts: 7279 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: NC

hardlessons
♂ 35025
Member # 35025

Posted: 7:22 PM, April 2nd (Monday), 2012

The first book I read after D Day was

Emotional Infidelity: How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage and 10 Other Secrets to a Great Relationship by Gary Neuman

And it was a mind blower for me, this should be required reading for all.

Me WH
Wife Tired Girl
3 adult sons
"a wayward...annnnd just a tad betrayed."

Posts: 945 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Arizona

silverhopes
♀ 32753
Member # 32753

Posted: 2:29 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend

This book is amazing. I haven't read all of it (been trying to slowly for months) but there is a strong sense of reaching even farther back from now into FOO issues. It's such a valuable book.

So far the most helpful concept has been when people say no to the good or healthy and yes to the bad or unhealthy: reverse boundaries. What a wonderful book.

Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 4205 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California

Topic Posts: 6

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