SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.

I came across this on Pinterest. As rediculous as the above quote is, the comments were even more interesting. Everything from "love this quote! So true!" to "If that's how you really believe, you need to get your butt in therapy to find out what your deal is".

To just about everyone on SI, this one is a no-brainer. There is a difference between love and luuuurv, as folks around here put it.

Love is Mr. Aubrie accepting and adoring me at my best and absolute worst. Love is working all hours to provide for us. Love is making sacrifices for our family. Love is holding my hand while I puke my guts out. Love is being by my side thru 2 pregnancies. One, uneventful the other, stressed with suicidal tendencies and almost losing the baby during delivery. Love is sitting in the floor with me while I suffered a miscarriage. Love is late bills, flat tires, dirty laundry, morning breath and sleepy eyes, boring household chores, weeding the garden, bedtime stories, kids sneaking in our room during a thunderstorm, passing kisses in the hallway, burnt dinners and desserts that flopped. Love is when you confess the greatest hurt, you look up into their tear filled eyes and hear, "I forgive you. I will give you another chance. Do not mess this chance up. I love you and am willing to do what it takes to make this work." Love is dealing with the rollercoaster of R. Learning to communicate. Learning what makes us tick. Reliving nightmares from the past. Love is doing the hard work.

Lurv is the fantasy. Airbrushed, photoshopped images of us at our very best in the most flattering angles and light. It's well worded texts and emails that do nothing but flatter one another's egos. It's all "sweetness" and smiles. Rainbows and unicorns. It's sneaking around, and stolen moments. Moments that were taken from your real family. Lurv is an illusion, or more accurately, a delusion, or what the real thing is. Lurv is lying to the AP to make them feel better about themselves and yourself. You paint yourself as this amazing, can't live without it person. When in reality, you are both sadly, terribly broken.

I think for myself the answer is clear. I'll take the first one. And never, ever take it for granted again.

You just HAD to go and make my emo butt cry, didn't you? Thanks, thanks for that!!!!

Speaking from the heart Sister.

Gdamn allergies.....

*sniffling*

Aubrie - I'm sending this to my WH, not because it will touch HIM, but because it touched ME. Thank you.

I was kind of bummed, Aubrie, when I saw the topic and you posting it.

Of course, you are Aubrie and you get it, so I shouldn't have worried!

And that quote is stoooo-pid!!!!!!!!

Allergies...

(((((used2bestrong)))))

Sorry for the mild heart attack SisterMilkshake.

I really hate that saying :( I see it all the time. Thank you for making it so clear what the difference between love (with the 1st person) and luuurv (with the 2nd person) . As usual Aubrie, you are spot on.

Beautiful!!! I'm going to print and put this in a card for my husband and tell him how much I've always loved him and that I forgive him. Although I'm still hurt and in the process of healing, he needs to hear that I forgive him. Thanks again!

Damn you Aubrie, you are wrecking my streak of 3 days without tears.

(actually I didn't make it through my commute this morning)...but you just set the clock back another 12 hours.....damn.

Although I'm still hurt and in the process of healing, he needs to hear that I forgive him.

ToSadToCry, I hope to God your WS realizes what a gift that forgiveness is and that receiving it after something as traumatic as this is huge.

Sorry wonderboy! Been keeping up with y'all. Wishing you well in your healing.

Spot on, Aubrie. Thank you.

As soon as Mr. wjh all but forgot OW's name on D-Day and went into fight mode for me, I knew he only luuuurved her and truly loved me. It's that knowledge that keeps me moving.

Sniff

I, uh, have to check something over there . . .

Thank you Aubrie24.

I'm a BS and to hear a WS say that is just great : )

Yes, allergies...

Sorry, double post

[This message edited by noescape at 4:59 AM, March 30th (Friday)]

Nice post, Aubrie.

Yay for Pintest. Boo for lame saying!

You know what I have been thinking lately...love...My BH has seen me at my worst, but saw the best in me, and chose to love me anyway.

My BH has seen me at my worst, but saw the best in me, and chose to love me anyway.

Exactly!

That is beautiful Aubrie84. I wish all waywards could come to the same conclusion as you.

I'm happy you are there.

add me to the tear brigade. Thanks Aubrie - you give so many of us BS's someone to look to as an example of a WS who just gets it - it really helps to get through those harder days.

((Aubrie))