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The Book Club :
divorce books?

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 justfriends (original poster member #17867) posted at 6:06 PM on Saturday, March 31st, 2012

After D-day (over 4 years ago), I read book after book on affairs, and most of them were pretty helpful.

Now that I am no longer in R, I wanted to see what's good out there for D. He basically just up and left when I thought we were doing well. Totally blindsided. Anything you can think of that would help?

D-day Jan 2008
me BS (now 42)
him WS with no communication skills or heart
4 month PA
WH left 3/10/12 after 4 years of R and 18 years of M


posts: 426   ·   registered: Jan. 23rd, 2008   ·   location: ca
id 5770205
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luv2swim ( member #13154) posted at 9:19 AM on Friday, April 13th, 2012

First of all (((justfriends))).

My experience is that no matter how long the lead in, the divorce process is still painful, and not something I could have well prepared for.

I found these books most helpful:

1. For good ideas on how to structure the divorce without ruining my life, his, or our childrens ---

Getting Divorced Without Ruining Your Life: A Reasoned, Practical Guide to the Legal, Emotional and Financial Ins and Outs of Negotiating a Divorce Settlement by Sam Margulies

2. For helping me to feel that I was not the only one going through some sort of "script", and that my now ex is not exactly abnormal, but in some sort of midlife "scripted" whatever that I no longer want to be part of ---

The Script: The 100% Absolutely Predictable Things Men Do When They Cheat

Elizabeth Landers (Author), Vicky Mainzer (Author)

3. And then... more recently, to help me recognize that yes, this really is traumatizing ---

Transcending Post-infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD): The Six Stages of Healing

Dennis C. Ortman (Author)

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married 24 years -
2 fantastic kids!

divorced 2009


D day: 2006 ... he left to live with OW.
Divorced: 2009
WS + OW: Married and still together (as far as I know).

posts: 407   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2007   ·   location: US
id 5788956
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