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Newest Member: thepainfull86 (61156)

User Topic: divorce books?
♀ 17867
Member # 17867
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, March 31st (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After D-day (over 4 years ago), I read book after book on affairs, and most of them were pretty helpful.

Now that I am no longer in R, I wanted to see what's good out there for D. He basically just up and left when I thought we were doing well. Totally blindsided. Anything you can think of that would help?

D-day Jan 2008
me BS (now 42)
him WS with no communication skills or heart
4 month PA
WH left 3/10/12 after 4 years of R and 18 years of M

Posts: 426 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: ca
♀ 13154
Member # 13154
Default  Posted: 3:19 AM, April 13th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

First of all (((justfriends))).
My experience is that no matter how long the lead in, the divorce process is still painful, and not something I could have well prepared for.

I found these books most helpful:

1. For good ideas on how to structure the divorce without ruining my life, his, or our childrens ---

Getting Divorced Without Ruining Your Life: A Reasoned, Practical Guide to the Legal, Emotional and Financial Ins and Outs of Negotiating a Divorce Settlement by Sam Margulies

2. For helping me to feel that I was not the only one going through some sort of "script", and that my now ex is not exactly abnormal, but in some sort of midlife "scripted" whatever that I no longer want to be part of ---

The Script: The 100% Absolutely Predictable Things Men Do When They Cheat
Elizabeth Landers (Author), Vicky Mainzer (Author)

3. And then... more recently, to help me recognize that yes, this really is traumatizing ---

Transcending Post-infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD): The Six Stages of Healing
Dennis C. Ortman (Author)

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married 24 years -
2 fantastic kids!

divorced 2009

D day: 2006 ... he left to live with OW.
Divorced: 2009
WS + OW: Married and still together (as far as I know).

Posts: 402 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: US
Topic Posts: 2

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