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Has anyone read this? It has good reviews on amazon so I ordered it. I'm looking for something that might help my kids (young adult and teen) understand and deal with their dad a bit better.

Heard of it -- haven't read it. Come back and tell us what you think of it when you've read it.

My IL's are self-absorbedx10. I'll put it on my should read list.

I'll definitely add a review after I've read it.

don't ya just hate it when...

okay, got the book a while ago and started looking through it. Wham - hit by a FOO issue. Scan a few more pages - wham, again.

I should have known better. It's a self-help book that had some appeal to me. I should know by now it means there's some sort of lesson for me to learn by reading the book.

But because of this, I haven't read it in depth as much as I need to, to do a full review. What I can say (so far) is that I don't think it's going to be the kind of book that will help my kids with their dad, like I had hoped. I was looking for something that had more case studies with suggestions on how to deal with similar situations. This book is more the workbook style self help book, where you do quizzes in each chapter and your score tells you how much of an impact that type of narcissistic parent had on you as a child.

It looks like the book has some good information in it, but it's going to take me a while before I'm ready to tackle more of my own FOO issues and read it.

My intent was to get it for Mr.DixieD. His parents are classic NPD.

Then I read the reviews listing alcoholic and workaholic parents as narcissistic too. Uh-oh. That's my parents. More covert self-absorbed.

I ordered it today for both of us.

I know what you mean inconnu about trying to get through these books. Currently reading Journey from Abandonment to Healing and it is hitting me hard. Read a couple pages -- burst into tears and put it down for the night.

try....

Disarming the narcissist

Surviving & Thriving with the self absorbed

Wendy T. behary, LCSW

...alcoholic and workaholic parents as narcissistic too. Uh-oh. That's my parents. More covert self-absorbed...

yep, that would be the FOO issues that I ran into, looking through the book.

SoCo, thanks for the suggestion. I'll check it out.

I got it on audio book this week and we've listened to 3 chapters.

We've been ticking off (90%) of the traits of both our fathers.

I'll add Disarming the narcissist to our reading list (thanks SoCo). May be it will help us figure out how to deal with our fathers -- interaction with either of them is frustrating as hell.

I'm also alarmed by the traits I can list in myself.

This book is marked on my Amazon favorites. My psychologist has me reading Trapped in the Mirror by Elan Golomb Ph.D. We're trying to decipher if my mom may have been one. Seems aconpd (my term for adult children of npd(s), hehe are viola...attracted to NPD's. Well, H #1 was that & more & it looks like H#2 likely places on the continuum as well.

Just a quick glance through doesn't show any quick self-tests, but I'll let you know if it may be appropriate reading for children (age appropriate to the age level). Maybe someone would like to trade when I get done & we can save some money?

ETA>I know one thing I've read in multiple sources is that one, if not the most important, thing to teach kids & lessen the chances of personality...empathy for others.

[This message edited by oldtimer97 at 4:39 AM, June 18th (Monday)]