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Newest Member: 4ever2gether (45763)

User Topic: She is so clueless
bluecali
♂ 35135
Member # 35135
Default  Posted: 1:13 AM, April 8th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FWW went to her girlfriend's last night. They are big partiers, and FWW sometimes will just crash at girlfriend's house (of course, now I wonder how often that was really true). Last night, I sent FWW a text saying please come home tonight if you can drive safely, I don't like it when you are gone. I got no show, no call, no text, no nothing. FWW shows up this morning, la di da, "fell asleep" at girlfriend's. She has no idea what I went through last night. Fucking clueless.

No need to respond, I'm just ranting.


Me-BH
DDAY 12/1/11
Separated and uncertain

Posts: 398 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Elm Street
Williesmom
♀ 22870
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:57 AM, April 8th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((bluecali))

You need to talk about it. If she is remorseful, she should understand that she shouldn't stay out all night.

Grow up.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7825 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
sullymeishadomi
♀ 16305
Member # 16305
Default  Posted: 7:58 AM, April 8th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((BluCali)).


People tell you exactly who they are...why expect them to be what they are not ....will be divorcing the selfish creep.

Posts: 8471 | Registered: Sep 2007
isthisforreal
♀ 30926
Member # 30926
Default  Posted: 8:27 AM, April 8th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, your DDAY was 12/1/11
and she's pulling this? Sorry, that would have been a deal breaker for me.

I hope she "gets it" for you sake. Sorry.


BW me 47
WH him 52
married 24 years
DD 9/15/10
3 incredible teenage daughters
"it only hurts when I breathe"

Posts: 256 | Registered: Jan 2011
cantlivewithouth
♀ 11939
Member # 11939
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, April 8th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You need to sit down with her and let her know why this is so upsetting and that she cannot be doing these things anymore. She has to earn your trust back and this is not a way to do it.

Come up with a list of things that she needs to do to start the process of earning your trust back. Present it to her in a neutral setting and try to keep the emotion out of it as much as possible. Just be matter of fact.

If she is truly committed to R then she will willingly do those things.

(((((bluecali)))))


Married a truly wonderful and loving man Sept. 19, 2010. Not only survived, but thrived.

My new mantra: Argue Your Limitations.‎


Posts: 40985 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: Canada by way of Virginia
changed forever
♀ 6995
Member # 6995
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, April 8th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seriously? Seriously?

Only a couple of months from D-Day and she's staying out all night and partying like a teen-ager?

Get. Real.

You need to put your foot down, hard and fast.

Either she goes out but manages to control her alcohol intake so she can both communicate with you regarding her whereabouts and also drive home at a reasonable hour, or she need not go out at all.

If my H got drunk and stayed out all night, ever, he would be out on his ass. And I am eight years from D-Day.


Mad hatters.
Him: 51
Me: 50
Married 23 years.

My DDay No. 1: April 2, '04
DDay No. 2: June 23, '04
DDay No. 3: July '04

We don't live together, but we haven't actually divorced yet.


Posts: 541 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: Far from home
DeadMumWalking
♀ 25341
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 8:39 AM, April 8th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((bluecali))))

I'm sorry your WW is so clueless. I truly don't see how she is 'F'.

Take steps to protect yourself.

((((bluecali))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 25 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 30
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2679 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
twinkie
29203
Member # 29203
Default  Posted: 8:46 AM, April 8th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Blue, something just does not sit right. You may need to go into investigate mode. The girlfriend, is she the AP? if so then your WW may still be involved in the A.

The other side is if your WW is involved with another man then she could be using the girlfriend as coved to continue on with the OM.

I think I would investigate but not show my cards.

Your WW behavior is just plain wrong.


Posts: 1065 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Louisiana
stilllovingher
♂ 29959
Member # 29959
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, April 8th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BC: i have an idea for you. its something that i asked my FWW to do with me and it was very interesting...

ask her to write a detailed letter describing how she thinks YOUR night went while she was gone. what you thought, what you did, how you felt...etc.
at the same time, without reading each others, write your own. write down in detail how your night ACTUALLY went.

(this worked well for us because the night SLHim spent at doosh nozzle's house was the same night that i discovered her A.)


The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

Posts: 2409 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
stilllovingher
♂ 29959
Member # 29959
Default  Posted: 9:55 AM, April 8th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

on another note, this is pretty fishy.
a 40 year old that regularly cant make it home to her H.
Id be very suspicious.


The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

Posts: 2409 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
Topic Posts: 10

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