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worst-year-ever (original poster member #33003) posted at 9:28 PM on Saturday, April 14th, 2012
fWH is at work today, like he always is this time of year. Ran into a friend who asked where he was, I replied that it was busy season and he was at work.
Friend asks, "oh, yeah....what's her name?"
He was totally kidding, has no clue about the affair.
I am a wreck.
I tried not to looked dazed, laughed it off....but I am falling apart inside.
Me: BW
Him: FWH
4 kids & 20 years together
DD: 7/7/11
OW1: 3yr+ LTA
OW2: My xBFF
Trying to R
trying2deal ( member #2597) posted at 9:33 PM on Saturday, April 14th, 2012
All truth, in the long run, is only common sense clarified. Thomas Huxley
Firebird 5 ( member #33295) posted at 9:38 PM on Saturday, April 14th, 2012
Him--many years LTA (EAandPA) w/ MOW
Me-- EA during separation/emotional breakdown
Dare2Trust ( member #21183) posted at 9:38 PM on Saturday, April 14th, 2012
Personally - I'd have to wonder if this friend was totally kidding?
I was so blindsided by my husband's LTA -- and I later learned: Lots of people knew more things about my marriage than I knew, or susspected.
Me BS 59
WH 58
Married 19 years
D-Day Nov 3, 2005
Child: Adopted Daughter 21 College Student now
I can understand being alone; but I hate being with someone and feeling lonely.
FightingChance ( member #34740) posted at 9:59 PM on Saturday, April 14th, 2012
Before dday we used to joke with each other about your 'boyfriend /girlfriend'...
We don't do that now that I know he actually had one.
D-Day#1 - Dec. 8, 2011 - found the receipt
D-Day#2 - Dec. 28, 2011 - found the phone logs
D-Day#3 - Jan. 6, 2012 - admitted to PA
3 amazing sons - 13DS, 13SS, 11SS
in R
Ostrich80 ( member #34827) posted at 10:19 PM on Saturday, April 14th, 2012
Personally - I'd have to wonder if this friend was totally kidding?
My first thought too^^^^^^
I really pay attention to words now. My WS a couple of months before DD!, made a comment about a GF. He said he told me something, I said jokingly, No you must have told your other wife, he said I only have 1, I said must of been your GF then. He totally said, yeh it must have been. My ears are always open and I dont ignore anything anymore.
BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????
dirk pitt ( member #22167) posted at 10:32 PM on Saturday, April 14th, 2012
(w-y-e)
I think you handled it very well. 
Me=BS
Her=WW (ilovemyhusband)
worst-year-ever (original poster member #33003) posted at 2:50 AM on Sunday, April 15th, 2012
The friend honestly has no idea, of that I am sure.
It just felt like a kick in the stomach. I know he didn't mean it that way at all, he was just kidding....but I don't live in a fictional world anymore where you can poke fun at that.
Doesn't help that almost all of the affair was actually carried out at work, as they were coworkers. He'd go in early, stay late, had to work weekends...and his profession is the perfect cover for it.
I think how many times I lied unknowingly for him, how many times he missed things he should have been at for me and the kids because he "was at work".
He really was at work today, but he was back then too. Grrrr.
I feel like I'm hitting bottom again.
Me: BW
Him: FWH
4 kids & 20 years together
DD: 7/7/11
OW1: 3yr+ LTA
OW2: My xBFF
Trying to R
Winter Snow ( member #24185) posted at 3:56 AM on Sunday, April 15th, 2012
WYE....
I can relate. My WH used to work out of town. People would joke that he wasn't really working, he was going to live with his other family. If they only knew how very close to the truth they were.
I call those folks the 'untouched'. They have no idea what infidelity really feels like, they only see it on TV or read about it in books. I used to be one of those people. It could have been me telling that 'joke'. Not any more.
I am so sorry you had to endure that. It is so very difficult on so many levels.
Take care....
fleury
used2bestrong ( member #34372) posted at 5:34 AM on Sunday, April 15th, 2012
I would have said her name and then walked away, leaving him with his mouth hanging open.
BS - me
WS - husband
4 children - all teens
D-day 6/15/11.
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