SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Even Keel posted this on OIAL's thread, and I started to post a reply about my weirdest contact, but then thought it was too big a threadjack.

Weirdest online contact I got was:

"Classy profile...keep it up!"

What in the world does that mean?????

We could all use a good laugh. Let's share the weirdest things we've encountered while dating (online or otherwise) - not making fun of anyone, not the gross stuff, but the ones that leave you scratching your head going, "Huh????"

The strangest message I've received so far (and I'm so glad I blogged this, because I had forgotten about it until I re-read it the other night) was this:

You do seem awesome! You’re right! If you were Asian, we could join forces and conquer the world. Too bad.

By the time I read it, his profile had been deleted. (I'm convinced it was Kim Jung Un. )

LOL - I thought the same thing when I posted that..I should of started a new post.

I think I shared this one before. It was one of my earliest online experiences and it shocked the heck out of me. I was all a flutter trying to find the block button.

I had online chatted back and forth with this guy many times and felt no blazing red flags. UNTIL this:

Him: So what do you do for a living?

Me: I am in the banking industry.

Him: I'd like to make a deposit in you & leave you with a smile.

Me: I think you got the wrong girl - good-bye.

I was new to online and oooohhhh so naive! LOL

[This message edited by EvenKeel at 2:06 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)]

I had a lovely first date with a gentleman in early February 2011. We had a great time! We seemed to click well. Never an awkward pause in the conversation. Just funny and left me hoping for a second date. Then on Feb. 14th, I am at my desk at work. I get a delivery of a dozen roses, chocolate and a mushy card talking all of "I love yous"!!! It was signed by ...you guessed it...the the awesome first date I just had.

W

T

F

Desperate much?

I had met a guy on POF, we had exchanged number and were texting but hadn't met in person yet. He was a little bit weird but aren't we all. One night at around 11 or so I received the following text "tap, tap, tapping on your temple with my index finger" or something along those lines. A little too creepy and weird for me.

I also had another guy from Match who I had been emailing with for a few days who started trying to bully me into giving him my number. I stopped responding to him but didn't block him right away. I guess that upset him and he sent me a nasty abusive email because I didn't respond.

A couple of weeks ago I had a date with this guy --no chemistry for me but it was obvious he thought he would somehow get me to sleep with him. When it was obvious it wasn't going to happen, he started talking about some website where a guy predicts the future. Apparently it costs a bunch to get updates from this person and he's "predicted" a bunch of big happenings thus far. And--very cryptically my date said "something big and awful is going to happen. . .very soon."

I think he thought he convinced me that the end of the world was coming and this might be my last chance to get laid. Definitely a WTF moment. Funny, but WTF!!!!

[This message edited by meaniemouse at 3:21 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)]

Oh--an another goof I had lunch with were sharing our catholic school memories and I mentioned that getting divorced had prompted me to get back to mass. That was our first and last date but on his dating profile he credited me BY NAME with making him go back to church! WTF???

meaniemouse those are both crazy!

I love these stories.

I got to go on a date with the Cheesey Nut Man--nuff said!

Game over. Cheesy nut man is legend.

I had a first date with someone. We got along really well and I thought there was some chemistry.

Apparently, he did too because he asked me to go back to his apartment for a bit. When I declined, he said.....

"C'mon! The first one is free!"

The other good one - I was just texting with a guy. Never met in person. He said "Hey, you're a blonde, right? So, does the carpet match the drapes?"

AYFKM?? NEXT!

Ama--unfortunately I have a million of them

I went out with one guy and when I got something out of my wallet a picture of my three 20-something daughters fell out. He picked it up and said "Damn. . .if you and I don't work out will you fix me up with one of them?"

WTF---even if you're creepy enough to say that in your head it should never come out of your mouth!!

[This message edited by meaniemouse at 3:58 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)]

Come on, Sad--tell about Cheesey Nut Man. I missed it and it sounds like something I need to hear.

I got a "hey" message, from someone 470 miles away from where I live. Just "hey" nothing else.

I clicked his profile and in the "Things I am good at" section it says

I have a thick tongue and I drive good.

Ahhhh, the Cheesey Nut Man. I remember him. Wasn't there a walk around a lake involved??

I 'dated' (use that term loosely ) this guy for a long time...well, the last time he was over (I didn't know until like a month later when I got the cable bill) he rented effing PPV porn!

When I thought about it, I recalled that we'd hung out earlier that night and I went out with some GF's for a couple of hours (I'd known this fool long enough that I trusted him in my home alone) and here he buys PPV porn...on my dime.

We don't talk anymore for a million other reasons, but him stealing porn is a definite NC order ashould he ever try to call again.

Eww, like how digusting is that? He was the ONE guy I did know to 'openly' dig porn (from that porn thread here... )

I'm 40 and the anti-cougar. I got one question from a 23-year-old:

"how often do u get your feet done?"

Then there was the guy who said, "Do you know that your profile says that you're African-American?"

*next!*

[This message edited by veritas at 4:30 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)]

I wish I had saved the original post; here's the gist:

The Sad Story of the Cheesy Nut Man

I had just reactivated my cupid.com membership. Part of my profile is about my love of hiking. I got a message from a guy who also liked to hike; his profile pics were all about hiking with his dog. He also said that he did local humanitarian work. Sounded good and he looked ok. We messaged back & forth; he wanted to go hiking but I was leery of going out into the wilderness with someone I’d never met before, so I suggested we meet. He chose a Friday afternoon at 2pm and mentioned a restaurant near where I worked. I was very familiar with the area—it’s a resort where we held most of our consular events, but I had never heard of the restaurant. That was ok, though.

When the day arrived, I drove to the resort and discovered it was the snack bar on the golf course; ok…I parked where he said I should—near the road so we could easily find each other—and waited…and waited…finally, I was about to give up when I saw someone walking toward me from a completely different area of the golf course. It was him; he said it was very crowded that day (there was an event going on) and he thought I wouldn’t be able to find a spot, so he went elsewhere to park. There was plenty of parking where I was…

He was wearing a plaid shirt that looked like he’d slept in it—and it was covered with food stains. Well, it was a work day, so I figured he hadn’t had time to change; not a huge problem. However, he was at least 15 years older than the pics he'd posted. He said, “We have three choices; one, we can eat here (yeah, that was the plan…); two, we can find some other place (It’s 2 o’clock already…); or three, we can take a stroll along the canal—I brought a 6-pack of beer and some snacks (Buddy, I just met you; I’m not strolling anywhere!) “ Oh, and the snack—it was pecans wrapped in American cheese…

I said, “Let’s eat here.”

The menu was small—only 4 items. I ordered a burger; he ordered the exact same thing, right down to the condiments. I thought, odd, but it was a limited choice… We started to chat and he quickly monopolized the conversation; in fact, he launched into a rather gruesome story about an accident that he’d had almost immediately. I’ve regaled people with some painful stories, but not immediately after meeting them… After a while, I put on my sunglasses, even though the sun had started to set. I didn’t want him to see me rolling my eyes… I finally made my excuses and got up to leave. He insisted on walking me to my car and when we got to the parking lot, he said, “So, do you think we’ll take that hike.”

“Maybe…” as I quickly jumped into my car and sped off. As soon as I got home, I cancelled my cupid.com account.

[This message edited by Sad in AZ at 4:29 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)]

I have to say, I really loved Cheesy Nut Man. He provided a nice benchmark when I was just starting to date.

I had been chatting with a man I'd met online. He seemed like a nice guy. Not too long into it we were IM'ing and he said he had to tell me something.......and was a bit nervous. I said "Okay.......go for it."

Not sure what I was thinking it was, but I definitely wasn't expecting for him to say: He had just gotten out of PRISON two months earlier for killing his GF! She was drunk and OD'd on his pain (back) meds. I checked it out and found the newspaper articles on it and even remembered the story!

Yea, it's be interesting trying to get that detail by my parents! 'But he's a nice guy Mom!'. haha

NEXT! (Thankfully, I found someone who is not a convicted murderer.)

[This message edited by GrievingMommy at 5:40 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)]

Thank you, Sad. Worth the price of admission.