SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Hey D/S friends! I wanted to pop over and give a little PSA about the New Beginnings forum.

I know that a lot of the stuff that is posted over there is about dating, and that if you aren't ready to date, you may feel like that forum isn't for you.

New Beginnings aren't about dating though. New Beginnings are about you and the ways you find life after separation or divorce. A new beginning can be a new car. It can be going back to school. It can be getting a surgery you've been putting off. It can be redecorating your home, or creating new traditions for holidays with your children for the holidays. Heck, it can be finally finding the time that read that novel that you've been putting off for the last five years. And yes, eventually for many of us, it can also be about finding someone new - but that comes best after you've found yourself and your life.

As you extricate your STBX from your life, you'll find there is leftover space, time and energy that s/he would have filled. That space, time and energy is now yours! What an amazing silver lining to getting a divorce! You can choose to make whatever you want of your life from this point forward.

Your new beginning is all about you!

Don't be afraid to venture over and visit us. If you're not ready to date, don't open the dating threads; they can certainly wait. But as you discover ways to invest in yourself, to love yourself the way you deserve to be loved, feel free to share them with us in NB, because we want to celebrate with you! And if you're struggling to love yourself, you are welcome to share that too, because a lot of us have been there, and we remember how bewildering it can be to suddenly find yourself in new territory, sometimes after decades of answering to and prioritizing someone else, and we want to encourage you and help you remember that you are worth loving as well.

Don't be afraid to venture over and say hi when you have a chance. We don't bite, and the bus is actually a pretty great crowd of people.

[This message edited by Amazonia at 7:07 AM, July 29th (Sunday)]

This is such a great post, I had to chime in to agree.

I'm not yet dating, but gain a lot of inspiration down in NB, and talk about other things that are going on.

It's way more fun down there than in S/D!!!

Great post, Ama.

Your NB can be anything at all. When you shift your focus from the past and start looking at your future, NB is the place to do it. Even if you are just at the point of "now what?"

There are better days ahead and sunshine to be found.

and I just want to chime in with a don't think you have to be in one or the other. it's okay to jump back and forth between D/S and NB. I do it all the time.

Awesome post!!! Thanks for this Ama.

I definitely agree. There is so much more to post D life than finding someone new.

NB is time for a changes and start overs.
Also we share the disappointments and confusion that we sometimes experience with our NB. The wisdom and support of SI continues.....
Hugs and many of us are in 2-3 other forums so it's not exclusive.
gma

I think that what I've taken away from NB (spend most of my time there and D/S) is that it doesn't have to be about dating at all. I know it hasn't been for me! It's a great board to be on because it helps you realize that you do have a future that spans beyond your STBX/XS and that your experience with infidelity doesn't have to define you.

don't think you have to be in one or the other. it's okay to jump back and forth between D/S and NB.

Yes! I totally meant to say this! Thank you for remembering when I forgot.

It is inspiring. I think reading about where you aren't... yet.... brings the possibility of that into your mind.

I can remember reading and shying away, and coming back. Certain threads would capture my interest and I would read but not have the courage to post.

Also, the timeline is your own. Plenty of names came here after me and went to NB before me.

Well said Ama.

For someone just dipping her toes into NB I am so happy to read this post. Thank you Amazonia!!

I love reading down in NB.
Thanks for the great post Ama.

I love the NB forum, it gives me hope to see so many people leading happy lives post infidelity.

I just posted there again. I posted a few times but thought because I was not dating no one responded. So I stayed over here.
Thanks for telling us to come over!

Ama, you're so right...

I've been in NB for quite some time and it's refreshing to have watched so many go from the fetal position to actually standing up and moving forward...

The diversity in where everyone is at on their timeline of NB is a great teacher... Some are way ahead, some are where you are and some are where you've been...

The shared experiences and understanding in NB keep us all on our toes... We're there as an example of what has worked, what's working and what doesn't do a damn bit of good...

Come on and jump in the water... We're all learning to swim... Wouldn't it be great to swim with a bunch of people who show you that every tomorrow offers the opportunity to a happy future?

WB

Bumpety-bump

So lovely. I don't know why but this brought tears to my eyes.

I have lurked over there quite a bit lately like a naughty kid peeking at what the bigger kids are doing....

Bumping for Tesla and any other lurkers.