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anyone been to a B A N meeting?

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sevensisterhood posted 10/7/2012 05:20 AM

I'm planning to go to one in my area. Usually about 6-10 people each month. No idea what to expect, I'm just desperate for support. Amazingly, none of my close friend have veen through this--although both my sister and sister in law have done, and are both D. It's a little raw for both of them, so I'm trying not too lean too too hard....

So any thoughts, experiences, reflections (given that all meetings and locations will differ) would be gratefully appreciated. Thanks.

stillhere09 posted 10/7/2012 08:23 AM

I wanted to go to a meeting, but there were none in my area. I wondered if there would be such support that the members might check on each other's WS's.

That was before, though; I am now S and divorcing.

Let us know how it goes.

sadsad posted 10/7/2012 08:33 AM

Yes, I found it to be a great help to speak with others who understand. I made some great friends who I keep in touch with. I highly recommend it!

wreck3d posted 10/7/2012 10:41 AM

I encourage you to go. I was extremely nervous leading up to it and tried to talk myself out of it countless times, but it was an incredibly positive experience that made me almost feel good for 3 hours. It helps a lot to be in the presence of others that have felt the same pain and truly understand what you are saying. It seemed like no matter what I said, they all shook their heads saying "yeah, been there, seen that, I know how it feels".

It also helps to see that while there are many similarities in everyone's stories, there are also differences that make you stop and think "wow, not only is my story not unique, there a lot of 'other' things that could have happened that at least I'm not having to deal with".

In my case, I was the only male at the meeting, so I kinda felt like I was crashing the party, but they couldn't have made me feel more welcome and I'm very thankful I went. Meeting face to face with others in various stages of R, some divorced, some dealing with multiple A's, it just gives you so much information and knowledge and all in a personal setting that makes a huge difference. The real hugs are worth it alone. :)

If you are on the fence about it at all, please just try to get yourself to attend that first meeting and I think you'll be very, very thankful you did. Good luck.

starstruck posted 10/7/2012 12:27 PM

So glad to hear all the good support from BAN. I am trying to get to a meeting in my area. Even though I am 2 years out-still feel the need for support.
Hugs would be good!!

larac123 posted 10/7/2012 15:35 PM

while we are on the subject..i thought about going to their take your life back seminar..anybody been?

wreck3d posted 10/8/2012 11:03 AM

I'd be interested in any feedback about the seminar as well.

I was so lost in the first week after d-day and I inquired about the seminar, but my email was forwarded directly to Anne and she told me that I wasn't ready for it yet. I'm pretty sure that was sound advice and showed me they weren't just trying to take my money.

GabyBaby posted 10/8/2012 11:07 AM

What is BAN?

ETA: Ahhh...I googled it. (Its Beyond Affairs Network for others who dont know). Thanks!

[This message edited by GabyBaby at 11:14 AM, October 8th (Monday)]

phoenix54 posted 10/8/2012 11:10 AM

I found a local support group through B A N but it wasn't formalized and only meets occasionally depending on availability.

I did come across ISA - infidelity survivors anonymous - online but they only have telephonic meetings right now. I guess it's still pretty new.

jandjs1st posted 10/8/2012 11:11 AM

I went to my first meeting last month. It was awesome. You feel safe around those you relate to you. There were 5 people in the group. We were all new and each spent 20-30 minutes telling our stories. The leader of the group was amazing. She gave such great advice. She is 22 months into this and is so strong and encouraging. I walked out of there realizing how important it is to stay focused on making me happy. I look forward to going to another meeting and I highly suggest you go if you have the opportunity to attend a meeting.

sadsad posted 10/18/2013 02:53 AM

Sorry, wrong post

[This message edited by sadsad at 3:08 AM, October 21st (Monday)]

cantaccept posted 10/18/2013 05:03 AM

I wish there was one in my area. Unfortunately I contacted the one listed and no one ever replied.

momoffive posted 10/18/2013 05:34 AM

I go to one in our local area. There are now 7 of us all with different but ultimately the same stories. We go around and each share where we are at... struggles, successes, it's a wonderful place to know you are safe to share what's on your heart with others who understand. We are at different stages in healing but all share the same goal.

These ladies are some of my dearest friends and I know I can reach out to them 24/7. We typically meet once a month, sometimes twice over the winter months.

FeelingMN posted 10/18/2013 05:42 AM

I found a BAN group in my area and sent an email asking fir info. Heard back from someone who asked my story (is anyone else tired of telling it like me). Said I'd get on a mailing list and they usually meet once a month. Not sure that ill hold my breath. Communication is sparse

sunshine226 posted 10/18/2013 06:06 AM

I would love to go to a meeting but there are none in my area, but I do receive their newsletter and listen to the recorded telephone seminars. They were my first online source of help on this rollar coaster ride I'm on and then I found SI.

Wish there was some sort of support group here, finding ones for cancer, death and stuff like that but nothing for infidelity.

Thankful for close friends and online support like here

Drowninginitall posted 10/18/2013 10:39 AM

Wow thanks for this information. I need to find if this is available in my area. I know alanon help me immensely during and after my husband's addiction to drugs and alcohol came out. It would be a huge support to find other people in real life were going through the same things.

Drowninginitall posted 10/18/2013 10:43 AM

So I found out this isn't available in my area. Does anyone know of anything similar in the New England area?

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