I'm so sorry you're here trombone!
I have to say, it really sounds like thngs are a bit backwards here. First and foremost, you probably shouldn't be chasing your WW (wayward wife). She's still talking to the OM (other man) on a weekly basis, so she's still actively involved in an affair whether they are having sex still or not. By chasing her and telling her how wonderful she is and how much you love her, you may be coming off as a clingy, weak husband. I'm not saying this to offend you at all, and I'm not saying that is what you are, but when a WS (wayward spouse) is in the affair fog, this is they type of thinking they can be doing.
So, what to do? You should read up on the 180 in the healing library. The 180 will help you not seem like that guy. It will help you get things together for your own protection, and possibly can help shake her out of her WS fog. Sometimes a WS won't wake up until they think they've lost their BS (betrayed spouse). This often quickly clears up that WS fog and helps them see what they have been risking all along.
However, not all WS's will come out of the fog soon, or ever. Some are just the kind of person that feels no regret for cheating, and makes no excuses for it, sort of like Jesse James who was married to Sandra Bullock and a slew of others.
For you own sanity, I recommend the 180, and doing it hard! Disconnect from her, do your own activities, do all the things the 180 suggests and do your best not to waiver unless you see some real changes from your WW.
I know it's hard, and I know it feels wrong to disconnect from the one you want to keep so bad, but it will be the best thing to wake her up to what she's doing.
Let me share a personal story.
I have a relative who has always been very anti-180. He feels he can love his wife back into his arms. This cousin spent a year dating his wife while she was living on her own and, and the wife was carrying on several affairs at the same time. The cousin knew about this, but thought he could love her back home. After a year or so, she did come back home, but only for legal reasons. Turns out she found out she stood a great chance of losing custody of her kids since she had "abandoned" them for a year, so she moved back in to sleep in the guest room. She continued to carry on several more affairs and never laid a hand on the cousin. Now, another year later, she has decided she stands a good chance at custody and has filed for a divorce, and still refuses to leave the house. He definitely couldn't love her back home.
Me, I did 180 mildly. I was never very good at it, but I at least did some things. Today, it's been almost 5 years since I found out about my H's (husband's) affairs, and we are reconciled and happy with each other. My H stopped cold turkey, dropped everyone and everything he was doing because he saw me becoming distant and that made him realize he was losing me.
Post here often Trombone, you will get the best advice you will ever hear from people who have walked in your shoes and been down this path. Good luck to you.