I read the book Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner. I found it very helpful when I was at my screaming banshee worst. I also tried to find physical outlets for my anger: screaming in the car alone, kickboxing,
and dumping it all in journals.
I'm so sorry you are hurting so much. Are you posting in General or D/S? If not, please do. We will help you through this.