Does journaling it help? I know I have looked through journals hesitantly because I didn't want to relive the pain, but DAMN when I am mad I wrote some really good stuff! Novel worthy rants can be empowering!
Just sit with the feelings a bit and then send them on their way. Maybe burn something symbolic of the negativity he has made you feel...let the smoke, ashes and feelings go.
I am sorry you are feeling badly! It's a tough time of year and we would love to meet our own high expectations but, sigh, we are mere humans with those feelings.
Take care of you, color your hair his least favorite color. Then give him the finger into the universe.