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Newest Member: Mercedes66 (46046)

User Topic: Going through a pretty toxic anger phase
healingtree
♀ 15467
Member # 15467
Default  Posted: 4:18 PM, December 26th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am in the midst of being incredibly pissed off and angry and I don't like how it feels.

I think about how much I did for that man, and that he was so full of shit. I cannot look back on anything we did together or accomplished with any kind of feeling other than anger and contempt for him.

Any ideas how to get out of this rut?


FBS 1st D-day 7-11-07, 2nd DDay Post-Breakup in 8-12
HIM - Doesn't Matter Anymore
The only thing we can change about the past is how we look at it.

Posts: 8345 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Here and Now
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 4:20 PM, December 26th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Physical exercise helped me. So did strict NC, both communication wise AND in my thoughts.

((((healingtree))))


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26546 | Registered: Aug 2011
LadyQ
♀ 32847
Member # 32847
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, December 26th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hear ya. Especially this time of the year. Feeling depressed and angry and worthless.


Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
unarmbears
♀ 7480
Member # 7480
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, December 26th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Does journaling it help? I know I have looked through journals hesitantly because I didn't want to relive the pain, but DAMN when I am mad I wrote some really good stuff! Novel worthy rants can be empowering!

Just sit with the feelings a bit and then send them on their way. Maybe burn something symbolic of the negativity he has made you feel...let the smoke, ashes and feelings go.

I am sorry you are feeling badly! It's a tough time of year and we would love to meet our own high expectations but, sigh, we are mere humans with those feelings.

Take care of you, color your hair his least favorite color. Then give him the finger into the universe.


FBS-Me, 61
FWH-Him, 55
2 Sons 26 and 31
2 Daughters 29, 25 And 4 darling grandchildren!
"Love is an impulsive act, it's free. It's the story we tell about it afterward that's our poverty." Byron Katie

Posts: 4892 | Registered: Jun 2005 | From: From where the trees lean east...
hexed
♀ 19258
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 4:42 PM, December 26th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((HT))

you seem to pour your whole self in to things. You did with R and the rest of yoru life. I'm not surprised that the anger phase is hitting you big, bad and fierce.

Physical activity helped me a lot. Also realizing that the anger is in fact healthy. You should feel angry. You should be pissed for what's happened. You deserved better. Some anger and righteous indignation are called for. Its part of your psyche taking care of you and helping you heal.

It will pass. Don't supress the feelings. Its part of the process embrace the process just watch what your actions are during this time. Keep living well no matter how mad you're feeling.

and BTW -- YOU definitely deserved better and I'm kinda pissed on your behalf


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8556 | Registered: Apr 2008
healingtree
♀ 15467
Member # 15467
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, December 26th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for your help people! I am feeling just about as close to bitter as I ever want to. I need to start focusing more on being active. I am betting that having a few days off gave me too much time off work to think about things!


FBS 1st D-day 7-11-07, 2nd DDay Post-Breakup in 8-12
HIM - Doesn't Matter Anymore
The only thing we can change about the past is how we look at it.

Posts: 8345 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Here and Now
Topic Posts: 6

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