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User Topic: Wedding rings
♀ 36976
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 10:15 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband kept his ring on all during his 2 yr affair. He was married, after all, and he "loved me". I threw the ring down the hill, figuring he would never find it. He did find it though, he spent all day scouring one part of the hill at a time. Now he keeps our rings in the evidence locker at his work. I wish I'd had thought to just flush the thing ( septic tank, lol).

Posts: 870 | Registered: Sep 2012
♀ 38134
Member # 38134
Default  Posted: 5:55 AM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

regarding the wedding rings - I told my wh to take photos of my wedding band as I told him I am going to sell it for whatever it's worth (18ct gold should sell for at least $50 right?). I told him the rings are "tainted" so have lost their value because of his adultery. That didn't sit well with him - I think he was very hurt by that. I told him although I miss my ring, there is no way it is getting back on my ring finger.

Maybe in a year, 2 years or 5 years I will feel differently... but the pain is still very raw. All the presents he gave me during the time he deceived me are going to be sold. I might even include him in the auction with a $1 reserve and a buy now price. Maybe his morally bankrupt whore can bid on him.

I know that doesn't sound loving - but I am having a minute to vent before I get back to this hard work called R.

[This message edited by Betrayed67 at 6:01 AM, April 10th (Wednesday)]

Me-BW 46 yo;Him - WH 53 yo
Married 13years
One daughter together 9yo, 2 stepchildren(His from previous marriage)
Various DDdays (see my profile)
ONS and multiple "friendships" with women in various online dating sites

Posts: 131 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: New Zealand
♀ 37735
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 6:04 AM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't take mine off on Dday, but a couple of months after Dday, when I saw WH & OW having lunch together (the 2nd time I caught them after Dday), I took it off & handed it to him, telling him I was making an appt with the divorce mediator.
That got WH to stop seeing her.
When we decided to R & he moved back home, I put mine on again & we have both been wearing ours since.
That being said, next week is our wedding anniversary & I have a lot of problems dealing with that day. Why celebrate the day WH took his vows, since obviously they meant nothing to him.

Me: BW
Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011
Married 28 years/Together 29 years/4 kids together
OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids
Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

Posts: 2478 | Registered: Dec 2012
♀ 38435
Member # 38435
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I absolutely looooved my rings. I never took them off & I never thought I ever would.

It took me a couple of months after DDay to take my rings off & it was actually one of the hardest things for me to still hurts my heart to know that I had to take them off because I just couldn't bear to wear them anymore.

Like many other posts, my finger felt naked...but it also felt lonely.

I decided, since the ring finger is supposed to have a vein that goes directly to the heart, to wear a plain band that my aunt had given me years before (I had been wearing her ring on the other hand). She looooves me, I have no doubt & would do anything for me, so I couldn't think of a better way, to have something symbolizing love, from someone who truly does love me, on that ring finger again...especially at a time when I needed to be reminded that someone out there loves me for real.

I'm not sure if I could ever wear my wedding rings again, but I still have them tucked away.

"I'm wide awake, Yeah, I was in the dark, I was falling hard, With an open heart, I'm wide awake,
How did I read the stars so wrong?..." Katy Perry - Wide Awake

Posts: 26 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Ontario
♀ 36928
Member # 36928
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I also had a bad rash around my ring during my WH 4 month affair (he was away on a job). TMI I also had a bad rash on other private parts!!! Yikes, since I was not messing around, I could not imagine why this was happening???? Oh Well, now i do!!

I take mine off and on all the time depending on how I feel. THey are currently off just like he used to take them off last year for his 4 month "love affair".

Sorry we have to feel so bad about our once beautiful symbols.

WH 61
OP 25
ME, BS 58
DDay 5-25-2012

Posts: 42 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: chicago
♀ 38568
Member # 38568
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I took my rings off the day after I found out. I was so in love with my rings, so it was so painful, but wearing the lie on my finger was a constant reminder of his broken vows.

Crazy story: One day while I was at work (before I found out), I looked down at my hand, and my wedding band had a small split in it (resembled one of those adjustable rings with the split). I kept wondering how the wedding ring broke when I hadn't done anything out of the ordinary to cause that to happen, and also why hadn't my engagement ring broken, especially since it was thinner than the wedding band? It was so weird. Once I found out about the cheating, it all made sense. I had been asking for a sign, and out of nowhere, my ring breaks! Crazy right?

Me- BS
Him- WS
3 beautiful children
DDay- 2/20/2013

One day at a time...

Posts: 11 | Registered: Feb 2013
♀ 38900
Member # 38900
Default  Posted: 8:04 PM, April 14th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Rings ... what does it truly mean? To most of us (women) it means love, security, foreverness. To men, shit, most of them don't wear them.

Took mine off the day he confessed. Put it back on when we talked and agreed to put things behind us. That did not last long. Four days. I just took it off again. For good.

That is my story. You may have your rings on again for good. Bless you!

Me - 59 - I often have to remind myself of my age!
Husband - 59
DD1 April 5 2013 (a lie)
DD2 April 23 2013
DD3 June 22 2013
3 children
1 grand child

Posts: 266 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Canada
♀ 36711
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, April 15th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH kept his on- didn't even think of it. Shows how much any of that really means to him.
ETA: he still wears it, mine is gone.

[This message edited by SoVerySadNow at 1:55 PM, April 15th (Monday)]

D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
Topic Posts: 28
Pages: 1 · 2

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