This sounds like a horrible limbo.
He sounds like he doesn't care how you feel, or listen to you. This isn't R, it's convenient. Sounds so sad and so painful.
For your sak maybe you should do a 180 competely on him, try to detatch. If he doesn't react you're getting healthy and prepped to leave for Cali. If he pulls his thumb out of his arse, well who knows?
Sorry to here this, but you need to protect and heal yourself first and foremost. JMO.
((chelle)) - may be you can then stop feeling like a fish flip flopping and more like a mermaid