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chelle1966316 (original poster member #4969) posted at 10:12 PM on Thursday, March 14th, 2013
I am the sign of the fish.
Thats what my life has been since October,when my H left.
Ive gone from deep devastation to feelings of calm,to anger to numbness and so on.
He comes home sometimes a couple days at a time.I am happy at the moment when hes here but there are some things that bother me.He joined fb last fall and friended an ex gf.One I hate.Thats not acceptable to me.He knows it and does nothing about it.
I dont know if we will end up back together or not and that may just be the deal breaker for me.Ive always felt second best to her even though she was a long time ago.
Recently my sister told me she was moving to California once her daughter graduates
in two years.She asked me to go and I am seriously thinking of doing it.In fact its one thing that has given me hope as stupid as it sounds.
There will have to be some serious changes in him in order for me to consider a life with him again.Im number one not anything else.
I am WS from Feb 2004-April 2004 first then a BS.
Together since 1981,married 1987 to present.Divorced,March 2012,for financial reasons, but still together until end of October 2012.Now hes having a midlife crisis and living away from home.
OktoberMest ( member #34173) posted at 12:10 AM on Friday, March 15th, 2013
This sounds like a horrible limbo.
He sounds like he doesn't care how you feel, or listen to you. This isn't R, it's convenient. Sounds so sad and so painful.
For your sak maybe you should do a 180 competely on him, try to detatch. If he doesn't react you're getting healthy and prepped to leave for Cali. If he pulls his thumb out of his arse, well who knows?
Sorry to here this, but you need to protect and heal yourself first and foremost. JMO.
((chelle)) - may be you can then stop feeling like a fish flip flopping and more like a mermaid 
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