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It would be great if you suggest books which were instrumental in self discovery. I have seen the list of books on SI but I am looking for something more intellectually stimulating.

I have already read all the standard affair related/self esteem related books.

Have you taken a look through the book thread on this forum? I found a few recommendations that were interesting including "The Four Agreements" which I'm currently reading. Sorry I can't bump it for you as it has a stop sign.

I gave it a bump

I have seen the list of books on SI but I am looking for something more intellectually stimulating.

How do you know they are not stimulating if you haven't read them? Or are you looking for Stephen King, James Patterson type recommend?

I have read Not just friends, After the affair, how to help you spouse heal, Journey from abandonment to healing, Boundaries and Relationships. I thought these books were applicable and helpful to me. The list which is bumped focuses more on making a relationship work. I am looking for self-discovery related books.

Nit sure exactly what you mean, or what you have read. You mention that you have read self esteem books, which ones?

Here are a few that have helped me;

Nathaniel Branden: The Six Pillars of Self Esteem

Melody Beattie: The New Codependency (she has others too that I have not gotten to)

Scott Peck: the road less traveled

I found them all about self discovery, and self improvement. I hope you find something that helps you.

Changing Course by Claudia Black

When Anger Scares You by John Lynch

Act with Love by Russ Harris

Emotional Infidelity by Gary Neumann

All of these have been important to my personal growth.

Dr. Keith Ablow's Living the Truth

(ISBN 0-316-01782-5) ~ Dr. Keith Ablow, bestselling author and host of a new daily one-hour daytime-TV talk show, presents his first self-help book. Based on more than 20 years of clinical experience and highlighting stories from his own practice, Ablow shows how ignoring or burying painful memories and experiences can negatively affect every aspect of our lives, and he presents strategies to help the reader transform the pain of the past into the power of the future. In a world where short-term talk therapy and medication are the latest trends to "fixing" an unhappy life, Ablow's message is controversial. But though examining the past can be daunting, LIVING THE TRUTH is as comforting and rewarding as it is transformative. And through Ablow's fine storytelling skills, empathetic voice, and straight-up advice, the experience of reading this extraordinary book becomes the first step to living a truly authentic life.

My therapist reccomended the author Robert A. Johnson and I LOVED him. He has a series called 'he' 'she' and 'we' which focuses on relationship interactions. He has single books, one called 'owning your own shadow' which I waaay loved. Every title I've mentioned is novella length and I've read them repeatedly. He has many others and they're more full length works. He may be esoteric for some (he's decidedly jungian) but he writes beautifully and I like that method of framing things.

I also got a lot from 'healing the shame that binds you' by bradshaw.

Happy hunting

I always recommend Unattended Sorrow by Steven Levine. It's a good book about dealing with inner shame and pain and addressing grief that's never healed.

I also found a couple of audiobooks by Clarissa Pinkola Estes to be especially helpful. Warming the Stone Child and The Red Shoes are the two that helped me most.

None of these recommendations are about infidelity. They're more about dealing with internal issues. Good luck.

Co-dependent No More by Melodie Beattie.

It has been a huge help for me as a BS, but I have seen many WS with codependent qualities as well.