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islesguy (original poster member #38090) posted at 5:22 PM on Tuesday, March 19th, 2013
At what point did you truly feel a sense of remorse for what you did.
1) When you first cheated.
2) When you were initially found out.
3) When you confessed.
4) When you witnessed the devastation of what you actions have done to your loved ones.
5) Other
For me there was regret and shame all along, but I didn't feel the full remorse until #4.
Me: WH
My BS has given me every opportunity to prove myself to her and I have failed again and again. I lied to her for well over 20 years and did nothing to help her. I made promises to her again and again that I would step up and still have not.
sodamnsorry ( new member #37201) posted at 11:48 PM on Tuesday, March 19th, 2013
I felt guilt and regret at #1.
I thought I felt remorse at #2 and #4, but I was in a fog and I felt empathy, more guilt, sadness, shame, and much regret but I don't think it was true remorse until the fog cleared. Now it's more than just seeing the devastation of my actions, but a real deep rooted *KNOWING* that my actions caused this.
WS (me) 45- Dday was 9/20/2012
Wife 41 (sodamnlost on SI)
Together 9 years, married 5
Stepdad to 6 amazing kids (22, 21, 16, 15, 12, 10)
Trying wicked hard - never giving up.
Betrayed67 ( member #38134) posted at 12:06 AM on Wednesday, March 20th, 2013
WS ONLY.
[This message edited by jo2love at 7:53 PM, March 19th (Tuesday)]
Me-BW 46 yo;Him - WH 53 yo
Married 13years
One daughter together 9yo, 2 stepchildren(His from previous marriage)
Various DDdays (see my profile)
ONS and multiple "friendships" with women in various online dating sites
remorseful72 ( new member #38496) posted at 12:41 AM on Wednesday, March 20th, 2013
My remorse began at #4. It was not until I truly felt the pain and devastation I caused my BS. Once I had truly made the transition from fantasyland to reality. My emotional state changed. My heart hurt for what I had done. It made me realize that I had to pickup this person I had just knocked down and somehow support and console her. I knew my words would mean nothing to her. I could only listen. Listen to her words of loss, pain, heartache and anger. I knew my actions would have to begin with my change of this evil person inside me. I knew that I could not change the past for it was already written but I could write my future. I have committed myself to whatever is necessary for her and our relationship.
[This message edited by remorseful72 at 6:51 PM, March 19th (Tuesday)]
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