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Newest Member: Ganon27

Divorce/Separation :
OW wants to be my FB friend??

This Topic is Archived
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 dumped&replaced (original poster member #34288) posted at 1:33 AM on Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

Hi SI family,

I can't even remember the last time I posted here..my divorce has been final since last fall and we sold the house 1/31/13...life is mostly good..but I still have bad days and "what the hell happened?" moments and right now I need the kind of support that only my SI friends who have been through this living hell can offer...

OK...so...u could read my profile but long story short, EX is living with OW and has been since 12/11. Our kids are in college so no "co-arenting " involved really... I have never met her, contacted her , driven past her house or given her any attention whatsoever. If I bumped into her on the street I would not even know her.

Out of the clear blue sky I get a "friend request" from her...(yes I know her name and some basics, that's it)...

REALLY??? On what planet does she think I would ever want to be friends with her??? Can anyone give me their thoughts as to why, after a year and a half into this nightmare, she decides to ask me to be her FB friend???

I rejected the request...even though a small part of me was dying of curiousity...the whore doesn't even have a picture, it's just a silouette(so I still have no clue what she looks like), and she has a whole "6" friends on Facebook hahaha... none of them have anything in ENGLISH on their pages - seems she's straight off the boat from Poland..oh wait, my ex mother in law is her friend...and this is the same woman who told my children last summer that they will no longer come up from Florida to visit because "she doesn't approve of the situation"....REALLY???

My boys still refuse to meet her and ex mother in law is on their case about it now...tells them "she's really a nice person"...WTF??

So, just wondering if anyone out there has run into this and what I should make of it...thanks for listening:)

Dday: 8/22/11
Divorce final: 10/6/12 - my 22nd wedding anniversary
Married: 21 years, together 23 years
BS: 51
WS: 47
2 awesome sons, ages 19 & 20

posts: 198   ·   registered: Dec. 24th, 2011   ·   location: PA
id 6264619
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phmh ( member #34146) posted at 1:35 AM on Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

Two words: batshit crazy.

Don't even think about her anymore. You can't understand crazy!

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

posts: 4993   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2011
id 6264621
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Fooled Me Twice ( member #34824) posted at 1:40 AM on Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

I have no idea why she would ask to be friends with you - but seriously - fuck that bitch!

(I'd be tempted to friend her for a minute to look through her pics etc, copy what, if anything I wanted and then block her whore bag ass. But that's just me.)

ME: BS 33 (now 34)
HIM: WS 33 (now 35)
OW: 22, howorker (now 24)
July 2007: Porn found on computer along with profiles on dating websites.
DDay: January 16, 2012 - suspicious since Dec 2011
Divorced: June 11, 2013

posts: 209   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Here and There
id 6264626
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tesla ( member #34697) posted at 1:47 AM on Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

Um...weird. No, make that batshit crazy like phmh said.

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

posts: 5066   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2012
id 6264641
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 2:11 AM on Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

(I'd be tempted to friend her for a minute to look through her pics etc, copy what, if anything I wanted and then block her whore bag ass. But that's just me.)

We think alike. I'd not do it, of course. But I'd be very tempted.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6264678
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I.will.survive ( member #34677) posted at 3:01 AM on Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

Probably just being ballsy like the former OW in my scenario.

She sent a Facebook friend request to my BROTHER with her profile pic showing herself with my (then) husband. That means she had to stalk him out of my friends since that part is public. I blocked her once I found that out.

She also followed me on Pinterest.

These OW are jealous of us in some fashion.

Crickets. These women do not exist in our lives if we can help it, right?

posts: 1722   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012   ·   location: east coast
id 6264737
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Take2 ( member #23890) posted at 3:11 AM on Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

Well maybe the relationship is getting stale and she is looking for drama to keep it going...? Maybe she thinks he is cheating and looking for advice... hehe Rejecting her was the wise thing to do

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

posts: 4432   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2009   ·   location: New England
id 6264750
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GrievingMommy ( member #28127) posted at 3:17 AM on Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

My first thought even before opening this thread?

FUCK NO!

Yea, that. ^^^

Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

posts: 1691   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2010   ·   location: Upper Midwest
id 6264759
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hurtbs ( member #10866) posted at 3:22 AM on Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

Hmmm... Maybe xWH is now disappearing for periods of time and she's suspicious and investigating you. Maybe sh'es got her head up her ass and think sthat she's "being the bigger person" by "reaching out".

Me - 40 something. WXH DDay 2006, Divorced 2012
WBF DDay #1 9/2022 #2 11/2022
Single

posts: 15762   ·   registered: Jun. 1st, 2006   ·   location: So Cal
id 6264769
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risingfromashes ( member #3903) posted at 3:22 AM on Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

Clueless! Who knows what Bull your ex has been feeding her.

I see this as a pity situation.

Some fogs are thicker than others!

posts: 2148   ·   registered: Mar. 29th, 2004
id 6264773
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ChoosingHope ( member #33606) posted at 3:40 AM on Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

That's really pathetic!

posts: 1855   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2011
id 6264810
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Gottagetthrough ( member #27325) posted at 3:49 AM on Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

I think its drama seeking.

Ow in my case ends up sending an email here or there every once in a while. Not only tho me but my family me members too. So wierd!

And your ex mil is a loser for accepting the ow.

posts: 3843   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 6264816
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Militarybrat ( member #37303) posted at 4:17 AM on Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

This happened to me before I knew that my STBXWH was seeing her again. She sent me a request but I didn't see it for 2 days. I was tempted to accept it and look at her page but didn't. Instead I sent her a message and asked her why she sent me a request. Of course she never responded and removed her request right away. When I caught them she accused me of calling her cell, which I didn't know was hers and she had given to my X. So I brought up the Facebook request and she told me that was an accident. Maybe it was but it proved that she was looking at my page.

I think the OW is just trying to irritate you and is probably looking for drama. She probably thinks that it's been long enough that you have "gotten over it" and will accept her request.

Me: BS (37) 38 now
Him: WS (38) 39 now
OW: Only 23, now 24
DS: 4
1st DD: 4/2010 (same girl)
Tried R and MC
2nd DD: 7/12/12 and my child was there!

posts: 94   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2012
id 6264849
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PurpleRose ( member #33129) posted at 4:36 AM on Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

sometimes FB does send out a blanket friend request if you click the wrong button - a friend did that to her whole "suggested friends" list on accident. Some people were complete strangers!

But I'm glad you declined. Why open THAT bag of unicorn shit?

divorced the Dooosh 8/13
*****************************
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...

posts: 3871   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2011   ·   location: Happyville
id 6264862
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homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 4:41 AM on Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

My MIL facebook friended the OW last week. I could not believe it!!!She has not talked to me in a year and a half bc they think I am lying and that her wonderful son is only "friends" with this psycho bitch from hell..

I hope I NEVER do this to my future daughter in law. And if my sons ever cheat on their wives I'll be in their face day and night.

the end.

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5513   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 6264866
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 5:48 AM on Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

Okay, who am I kidding? I would totally do it! I'd do it in the middle of the night when I knew she'd be asleep, go through her stuff like a druggie looking for crack, then unfriend her half an hour later. She'd never know!

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6264915
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confused51 ( member #29269) posted at 6:39 PM on Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

She is batshit crazy. My Ex's OW wants to be a drinking buddy when I and friends go to a local resturant. Are you fereaking kidding me?

posts: 139   ·   registered: Aug. 9th, 2010
id 6265531
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TrustGone ( member #36654) posted at 8:29 PM on Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

My WH#2's OW wanted us to meet up somewhere to talk on DDay#1. I was standing there in shock on the telephone, in another state, in a hotel room and she wants us to go have coffee and talk about it when I get home. Are you fu#$ing kidding me?? Seriously??!!? She wasn't calling to hurt me or anything like that, she just thought I should know that she has been my WH#2's GF for the last two years.

Who knows what goes through these crazy people's heads. Their life will be crap because they make it that way themselves and with their choices. Best just to smile and go on about your day and don't waste the headspace trying to figure them out. ((HUGS))

XWH#2-No longer my monkey Divorced 8/15, Now married to a wonderful man.
"A person is either an asset or a lesson"
"Changing who you are with does not change who you are"

posts: 10077   ·   registered: Aug. 30th, 2012   ·   location: Texas
id 6265690
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 dumped&replaced (original poster member #34288) posted at 10:58 PM on Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

Wow, thanks everybody for all the responses - sounds like this is a common scenario...but like many of u said I will never understand these batshit crazy people - both her AND the Ex...and why waste headspace on it???

Life is short and neither one of them are worth one more moment of space in my head...time to focus on the present:)

Dday: 8/22/11
Divorce final: 10/6/12 - my 22nd wedding anniversary
Married: 21 years, together 23 years
BS: 51
WS: 47
2 awesome sons, ages 19 & 20

posts: 198   ·   registered: Dec. 24th, 2011   ·   location: PA
id 6265917
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ruinedandbroken ( member #29250) posted at 12:10 AM on Thursday, March 21st, 2013

What a crazy bitch!

I decline her request and probably ask her on in what world would she think you would want to be friends with her?

“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 8&11
Married 14 yrs Together 21

posts: 1622   ·   registered: Aug. 6th, 2010
id 6266008
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