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Intimacy after infidelity

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SecondHelping posted 3/21/2013 18:31 PM

I just finished this book by Solomon and Teagno, and it was a GREAT book. I would rank it as the second best book I've read about the A. Not Just Friends was the best.

I orginally got this book because I thought it would help me with my post D-Day sex problems. It was nothing about that...it was all about how to create a relationship that will last after you find out about the A.

It explains the four stages of a relationship (Sweet, Sour, Differentiation, and Synergy). Then it explains the three types of Intimacies (Selt, Conflict and Affection). Lastly it explains the three types of Infidelity causes (Fear, Loneliness and Anger).

The authors explains when an A happens in a marriage and once you know what type of infidelity it was, why it happened and how to deal with it.

Lastly, they tell you how to take the shit soup you have post D-Day and turn it into a normal, healthy relationship. This is all predicated on the fact that the WS wants to R.

It's an easy book to read, but very informative. I borrowed it from the library but plan to buy a copy and let my fWW read it.

Paladin posted 3/22/2013 01:09 AM

thank you...will look into it...

mysticpenguin posted 3/30/2013 02:39 AM

That was the first book I read when I found out my husband cheated on me, and it really helped me start to process things and take some of the blame off myself. I have terrible Catholic guilt. Another one I loved was "After the Affair."

SadFlower posted 4/1/2013 11:52 AM

I have just finished this book on your recommendation, and I second your positive review. I thought it was very insightful, and I am hoping to talk about it with my FWH tonight.

While the authors strongly emphasize that the BS is in no way responsible for the WS's adulterous behavior, their discussion of the kinds of problems that can arise in a marriage that might cause a spouse to be vulnerable to an affair resonated with me.

Chinadoll30 posted 6/1/2014 06:40 AM

I just started this book. Glad to hear of the positive reviews. Hope it helps!

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