I haven't posted anything in a while. I have been reading though. I just wanted to get this out of my head. Maybe it will help with my clarity.
I've been visiting my parents with the kids for the past two weeks. My W stayed at home because she just started a new job. The break from the kids and me was something she has enjoyed. I don't think she is looking forward to me coming home, but I know she wants to see the kids.Over my stay here I confessed everything to my parents. While I know they were upset with my actions they didn't beat up on me too bad. They mostly just listened. I haven't confessed to too many people.
Anyways, this confession made me realize a lot about myself. I was able to talk about it with a new clarity because of the digging i have done. I've also taken some more time to look deeper into myself. I really think I lost my humility. Before I joined the army I didn't have the same self confidence. While this can be a good thing, I really became arrogant and entitled until it boiled over to my choice to have a ONS. I really thought I could do anything. Wow, how wrong was that.
My current goal is to act more humble.