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myheadreallyhurt posted 3/26/2013 12:56 PM

So amidst this giant mess (no more counting D Days as each day is a new one) of false R since August and everything else I'm starting to break again. I've started having mini panic attacks in public places. Like in class (I'm in college), the grocery store, walking down the sidewalk. Tears will just start flowing and I'll feel like I can't breathe. I'm trying to be strong for my 2 kids but I know that my pain is really starting to affect my 5 year old ds on top of him feeling abandoned by his dad. I know part of this may be that I'll be giving birth to my 3rd in a month and it makes me extra emotional. Does anyone have any tips, relaxation techniques, anything? I can't sleep at night because it feels like all the pressure in my chest is just going to explode and my heart won't stop racing.

Jospehine85 posted 3/26/2013 14:39 PM

Talk to your obstetrician.

The tears are emotion, but since you are pregnant, you need to make sure that the racing heart isn't a medical condition.

Example: Mitral valve prolapse is benign and normally not symptomatic, but during pregnancy it can cause symptoms of anxiety.

Meanwhile, I found that if I took myself off somewhere and had a really good cry, afterwards I could pull myself together for a good stretch of time and feel calm. It's when I kept trying to suck it up that I had problems.

Also, if you lie down after a hard cry, elevate your head so your face doesn't get all puffy.

Drink LOTS of water.

Do 1 unexpected, nice thing for your 5 yr old every day so he feels loved. Even if it's just a hug/kiss/Iloveyou.

tushnurse posted 3/26/2013 14:49 PM

With only a month to go, I would definitely make sure your OB/GYN is aware of this as well. If you are super stressed out it is not going to help your baby.
Look up focused Breathing, or progressive relaxation. Basically controlled breathing with belly muscles, and concentrating on muscle groups, can take as little as a couple of minutes, and can make last as long as you want.
(((( and strength ))))

woundedby2 posted 3/26/2013 23:35 PM

I just wanted to offer you some hugs. (((mhrh)))

callmecrazy posted 3/27/2013 09:01 AM

With my 1st pregnancy we were having sexting and porn problems and I wasnt supported in my hurt by him and I told nobody, so I was very alone. When I couldnt sleep or was on the edge and felt I was going to lose it, I'd go sit in the quiet rub on my belly and talk to my little one about my hopes for her and the excitement of meeting her. Only focused on my relationship with her, not WS, not as a family... only our bond, dreams for her future etc. Some nights if I did cry I'd tell her my hurt and fears and how I knew she could tell I was sad and that it wasnt her fault and how no matter what I promised her we would be fine and after a while I really did believe it, me and her together would be fine no matter what.

Its so hard to go through this when you feel like yourself, but the pregnancy stress on top is just the rotten cherry at the top.

Im sending you hugs.

Edie posted 3/28/2013 02:06 AM

When I had my first attack (3 wks after Dday alone in a foreign hotel room), I fought it and fought it, but it was very scary. I found the tears that eventually came to be the solution. Until then I had not cried and was not very good at it. Since then, I have learnt how to, by breathing deep into the diaphragm, as it is so releasing, cleansing and ultimately centering.

sparklingwater posted 3/28/2013 02:52 AM

Sending you big (((hugs))).

Talk to your doctor about the panic attacks. You firstly need to make sure there isn't a medical reason for your symptoms. What you are experiencing is probably a result of the extreme stress you are under. Tears which are so close to the surface and easily start flowing, for me, have been about feeling overwhelmed and deeply hurt, and I found I had to let them out. Try and control your breathing and slow it down when you feel you can't breath.

Keep talking to those who are your support. Accept any practical help they are offering and let them know how you are feeling. It helps to talk to your most trusted family or friends. Look after yourself, maybe with relaxing warm baths before bed.

Paladin posted 3/28/2013 02:55 AM

Post Infidelity Stress Syndrome...I had it bad...I lost complete control more than a few times...thought I was losing my mind...

Diva0702 posted 3/28/2013 03:25 AM

I simply wanted to say how deeply I feel for you.

Some wonderful advice here, as always.

I wish you and your little ones a brighter future.

My thoughts to you x

myheadreallyhurt posted 3/28/2013 05:03 AM

Thank you all for the advice. I'm trying to really focus on the baby and breathing deeply when I start to get that feeling rising up. I also have an appointment tomorrow with my doctor and I will discuss it with het. She knows the basics of what's going on since I had to ask for extra STD testing mid-pregnancy. My mom has also gifted me a pre natal massage for Friday, so here's hoping that for at least an hour I can relax.