Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: Else (61873)

User Topic: Panic attacks?
♀ 36424
Member # 36424
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, March 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So amidst this giant mess (no more counting D Days as each day is a new one) of false R since August and everything else I'm starting to break again. I've started having mini panic attacks in public places. Like in class (I'm in college), the grocery store, walking down the sidewalk. Tears will just start flowing and I'll feel like I can't breathe. I'm trying to be strong for my 2 kids but I know that my pain is really starting to affect my 5 year old ds on top of him feeling abandoned by his dad. I know part of this may be that I'll be giving birth to my 3rd in a month and it makes me extra emotional. Does anyone have any tips, relaxation techniques, anything? I can't sleep at night because it feels like all the pressure in my chest is just going to explode and my heart won't stop racing.

"See that no one repays another evil with evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another"

Posts: 153 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
♀ 35971
Member # 35971
Default  Posted: 2:39 PM, March 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Talk to your obstetrician.

The tears are emotion, but since you are pregnant, you need to make sure that the racing heart isn't a medical condition.

Example: Mitral valve prolapse is benign and normally not symptomatic, but during pregnancy it can cause symptoms of anxiety.

Meanwhile, I found that if I took myself off somewhere and had a really good cry, afterwards I could pull myself together for a good stretch of time and feel calm. It's when I kept trying to suck it up that I had problems.

Also, if you lie down after a hard cry, elevate your head so your face doesn't get all puffy.

Drink LOTS of water.

Do 1 unexpected, nice thing for your 5 yr old every day so he feels loved. Even if it's just a hug/kiss/Iloveyou.

Me - BS
WH - old
4 Kids
Dday May 2012

Posts: 1569 | Registered: Jun 2012
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, March 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

With only a month to go, I would definitely make sure your OB/GYN is aware of this as well. If you are super stressed out it is not going to help your baby.
Look up focused Breathing, or progressive relaxation. Basically controlled breathing with belly muscles, and concentrating on muscle groups, can take as little as a couple of minutes, and can make last as long as you want.
(((( and strength ))))

Him: FWS
Kids: 18 & 20
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

Posts: 13439 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
♀ 18522
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 11:35 PM, March 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just wanted to offer you some hugs. (((mhrh)))

In 2010 I divorced the NPD assclown who cheated on me with my best friend.

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson

Posts: 8023 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
♀ 38765
Member # 38765
Default  Posted: 9:01 AM, March 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

With my 1st pregnancy we were having sexting and porn problems and I wasnt supported in my hurt by him and I told nobody, so I was very alone. When I couldnt sleep or was on the edge and felt I was going to lose it, I'd go sit in the quiet rub on my belly and talk to my little one about my hopes for her and the excitement of meeting her. Only focused on my relationship with her, not WS, not as a family... only our bond, dreams for her future etc. Some nights if I did cry I'd tell her my hurt and fears and how I knew she could tell I was sad and that it wasnt her fault and how no matter what I promised her we would be fine and after a while I really did believe it, me and her together would be fine no matter what.

Its so hard to go through this when you feel like yourself, but the pregnancy stress on top is just the rotten cherry at the top.

Im sending you hugs.

Posts: 304 | Registered: Mar 2013
♀ 26133
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 2:06 AM, March 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I had my first attack (3 wks after Dday alone in a foreign hotel room), I fought it and fought it, but it was very scary. I found the tears that eventually came to be the solution. Until then I had not cried and was not very good at it. Since then, I have learnt how to, by breathing deep into the diaphragm, as it is so releasing, cleansing and ultimately centering.

Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 5887 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Europe
♀ 38792
Member # 38792
Default  Posted: 2:52 AM, March 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you big (((hugs))).

Talk to your doctor about the panic attacks. You firstly need to make sure there isn't a medical reason for your symptoms. What you are experiencing is probably a result of the extreme stress you are under. Tears which are so close to the surface and easily start flowing, for me, have been about feeling overwhelmed and deeply hurt, and I found I had to let them out. Try and control your breathing and slow it down when you feel you can't breath.

Keep talking to those who are your support. Accept any practical help they are offering and let them know how you are feeling. It helps to talk to your most trusted family or friends. Look after yourself, maybe with relaxing warm baths before bed.

Newly single and trying to find my feet.

There's always light at the end of the tunnel, just pray it's not a train.

Posts: 104 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Australia
♂ 38367
Member # 38367
Default  Posted: 2:55 AM, March 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Post Infidelity Stress Syndrome...I had it bad...I lost complete control more than a few times...thought I was losing my mind...

Me BH 49
Her WW 42
Together 27 Married 23
DS 22,DS 20,DD 11
D Day 11/8/11
Separated trying to R

"When you understand the nature of a thing, you know what its capable of"...musashi...the book of five rings

Posts: 141 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Paladin
♀ 32309
Member # 32309
Default  Posted: 3:25 AM, March 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I simply wanted to say how deeply I feel for you.

Some wonderful advice here, as always.

I wish you and your little ones a brighter future.

My thoughts to you x

Me: BW 53
Him: FWH 47
4 wonderful grown children
2 beautiful grandchildren
Married 20 years
Together 23 years
Dday March 10 2010. 4 yr A.
Me: RGN(ret), N.Dip.,BA(Psych),MA (Psych),BA Music.
OW: 55 year old taxi driver

Posts: 333 | Registered: May 2011 | From: UK
♀ 36424
Member # 36424
Default  Posted: 5:03 AM, March 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all for the advice. I'm trying to really focus on the baby and breathing deeply when I start to get that feeling rising up. I also have an appointment tomorrow with my doctor and I will discuss it with het. She knows the basics of what's going on since I had to ask for extra STD testing mid-pregnancy. My mom has also gifted me a pre natal massage for Friday, so here's hoping that for at least an hour I can relax.

"See that no one repays another evil with evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another"

Posts: 153 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 10

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2017 All Rights Reserved.