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Hello all. I keep hearing about a VAR. Can someone explain what this is and how/where to get one? I'm three months in from Dday, One month of NC and working hard towards R - but the trust is shattered and I'm still getting TT's. I need to put my mind at ease that the contact is truly over. Thanks.

me-BS 43
WS- 40
Dday-Dec.26, 2012

It's a voice activated recorder. You can find them online or in stores like Radio Shack. I think some phones have apps that you can download.

Thanks Simplydevastated. Are they small enough to conceals easily and what about battery life. I guess I better go do some research. I never thought I'd be dealing with this. So much for trust.

They are a dictaphone with a voice activated setting. Quite small - I can conceal mine in a closed hand. You can get them with rechargeable batteries or AA or AAAs. Using the lithium batteries it lasts several days.

You can get them at almost any store that carries electronics....just be sure to find one that doesn't light up in use. LOL.

We had a member in the past that pasted one under the dash of her H's car, it fell out, and he thought it was a bomb. Mass hilarity ensued.....once you get past 51 posts you can read it in Investigative Tips forum.

But, hide it someplace sneaky in a place he would likely talk to OW. The car. Home office. Wherever.

We had a member recently that busted her whole WH's secret life wide open with one, and it saved her from (probably) years of future misery.

It's a good idea. A good place to hide one is in the pocket behind the drivers seat in hubby's vehicle. Too bad you can't hide one in his boxers.