Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: betrayedinil (61145)

User Topic: What's a var?
♀ 38773
Member # 38773
Default  Posted: 5:15 PM, March 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello all. I keep hearing about a VAR. Can someone explain what this is and how/where to get one? I'm three months in from Dday, One month of NC and working hard towards R - but the trust is shattered and I'm still getting TT's. I need to put my mind at ease that the contact is truly over. Thanks.

me-BS 43
WS- 40
Dday-Dec.26, 2012

Posts: 9 | Registered: Mar 2013
♀ 25001
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 5:17 PM, March 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's a voice activated recorder. You can find them online or in stores like Radio Shack. I think some phones have apps that you can download.

Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)

Posts: 6121 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
♀ 38773
Member # 38773
Default  Posted: 6:18 PM, March 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Simplydevastated. Are they small enough to conceals easily and what about battery life. I guess I better go do some research. I never thought I'd be dealing with this. So much for trust.

Posts: 9 | Registered: Mar 2013
♀ 35799
Member # 35799
Default  Posted: 2:42 AM, March 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They are a dictaphone with a voice activated setting. Quite small - I can conceal mine in a closed hand. You can get them with rechargeable batteries or AA or AAAs. Using the lithium batteries it lasts several days.

On D-day:
BS 47 (me)
WH 51 - Toasted22
M 26 yrs, 3 kids (16-24) at discovery.
D-Days 2012 23 - 24 May + TT
D-Day 2013 12 Apr OW#3
mOW #1 EA yrs PA Feb 2009-end 2011
mOW #2 EA months PA 4 months 2010
OW #3 PA once 2010

Posts: 915 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: NZ
exhausted lady
♀ 30217
Member # 30217
Default  Posted: 2:51 AM, March 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You can get them at almost any store that carries electronics....just be sure to find one that doesn't light up in use. LOL.

We had a member in the past that pasted one under the dash of her H's car, it fell out, and he thought it was a bomb. Mass hilarity ensued.....once you get past 51 posts you can read it in Investigative Tips forum.

But, hide it someplace sneaky in a place he would likely talk to OW. The car. Home office. Wherever.

We had a member recently that busted her whole WH's secret life wide open with one, and it saved her from (probably) years of future misery.

It's a good idea. A good place to hide one is in the pocket behind the drivers seat in hubby's vehicle. Too bad you can't hide one in his boxers.

Sometimes the hardest part of finally seeing through someone is accepting what you see...

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to
change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
-Reinhold Neibuhr

Posts: 3171 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Colorado
Topic Posts: 5

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2017 All Rights Reserved.