BW (me) 37
i can't seem to stop myself from scouring all available "sources" for further details, deeper truths, etc
he is "SWEARING" that he has told me everything. he asked me this morning what he could possibly have to gain by keeping anything back since i now have all his passwords and know who she is and have her contact info
but i can't seem to let it go
the past two evenings, when he's actually been home from work, i feel strangely calmer and things seem almost...almost normal.
but then in the morning i'm back to full of rage and paranoia
at this point, i feel like my only remaining step is to contact her
i already contacted her when i first found out on sat morning.
BUT this was before i found out anything physical had actually happened.
i was not in a rational state of mind and i called her and left a vmail and then i texted her
she texted me back immediately and said he was not a faithful person - she is his ex - and that he had cheated on her years ago and that she "felt for me."
she said she never pursued him, etc
and i just let it go b/c i had nothing more to say
but now i know something physical happened and he is insisting that it was only kissing and touching. he is insisting it "only started" in Nov '12. he is insisting it only happened 3/4 times...he can't seem to remember exactly (WHAT?!)
so...should i get in touch with her to see if i can bait her to confirm or deny? i know flat out asking wouldn't get me anything, but if i can goad her into trying to "one-up" me, than maybe i'll at least feel like i know the truth
what do you think? thx.
WH (him) 41
DD 8 months
DD#1 (multiple EAs some lasting for years) Jan '08
DD#2 (EA) Mar 21 '13
DD #3 (PA) Mar 23 '13