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Why Do They Do This?

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callmecrazy posted 3/28/2013 13:38 PM

My WH got caught in A bc of text messages I found and he admitted it and started counseling, only to take it away 2 weeks later and said he and the OW planted the text messages bc I believed they were having an affair and he knew I'd snoop through his phone.
One of my friends caught her husband in bed (literally with her eyes) with the OW and he denied the A all the way through their D.

WHY DO THEY DO THIS??? At least lying when its not known and found or lying about the extent of it makes some sense, although just as crappy.

I think maybe it makes you even more mad on the bad days bc you wonder if they think you are that stupid or if they are just trying to see if you go crazy!

momentintime posted 3/28/2013 13:40 PM

They do because they don't want to face what they did nor face the consequences resulting from their actions. All about saving their image of themselves.

noprincess posted 3/28/2013 13:52 PM

Wow! Just Wow! He admitted it, went to counseling and then retracted? Sounds like he's having difficulty facing the monster in the mirror!

You're not crazy! What in your gut told you to check his phone in the first place? Hold on to that instinct, it's rarely wrong.

Honey, you're not crazy, he just wants you to think you are. (((callmecrazy)))

callmecrazy posted 3/28/2013 14:14 PM

Id been wanting to check it and had been paying attention to the code to get in, shock he keeps it locked. Anyway our son (on his 1st birthday and 3 hours before his party) grabbed daddys phone while he was napping on the couch and dropped it right in front of me. Along with over a month of drama and suspicions already in the air I took the sign and entered the precious phone. Took the baby to play w sister and quiely woke WH with my surprise...so he admitted bc he had no chance to think in my bam you are awake and I know what you did approach. He instantly text her it was done, but again we had a party in 3 hours and im sure he wasnt able to take the ego blow of not being able to go with me. (I told him he ended it that second or he could throw his own party and call and uninvite his family-who I'd had to tell that morning he wasnt having an affair just bc we had a fight and he spent the week "on her couch" bc he was mad I hadnt kept his secret and his sister was threatening to disown him for being a jerk!

6 yrs ago he denied sexting as I was holding his phone in my hand looking at his penis pic and the convo w the OW. UGH!!! its like our 5 yr old daughter...I wasnt in your makeup w/ crooked grin and "hot red lips" lol

Oddly its only cute when she does it!

Shockleader posted 3/28/2013 14:17 PM

He admitted it, went to counseling and then retracted? Sounds like he's having difficulty facing the monster in the mirror!

I can relate... My STBXWW after months of "we didn't even hold hands", told me it was sexual, then a few weeks later recanted, saying:

"I just told you that because that's what you wanted to hear" (crazy bitch emoticon)

The education I have gotten in what the face of crazy looks like, is about the only good thing to have happen since D-day. One fact is for sure, cheaters are sniveling cowards; if not, why hide what you are doing with your schmoopie pie "Soul-Mate"?

callmecrazy posted 3/28/2013 14:35 PM

Glad Im not alone...my reply was "Yes dear, becuase every woman so desperately wants to hear her husband had sex with another woman and all the details...how did you know" smh

NeverAgain2013 posted 3/28/2013 14:50 PM

I think lying is simply as natural as breathing for them.

And once they've told the lie, they prefer to stick with it even when proof is shown otherwise. It's like they don't want to admit they lied so they try to stay the course and stand by it - even if it's ridiculously apparant that it WAS a huge lie.

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