My brother is getting married. I'm happy for him, and like his fiancee as far as I've met her (we spent 2 days together at Christmas with my family).
However, she's really different from my family, and I find myself really struggling with trying to "impress" her, or meet the expectations that I assume she has.
My family is not especially close. I email with my parents 1-2 times a month, talk on the phone every couple. I see them 1x a year, at the holidays, typically. We don't exactly dislike each other, we just ... aren't close. There are a lot of differences of opinion, and lifestyles, and a lot of old pain that still aches when we spend too much time together, like an aggravated old wound when you work out on it too much.
FSIL (future sister in law) is very family oriented. She writes me cards and mails them. She sends friendly emails.
It's a little disconcerting, to be honest. I feel like I'm on pins and needles trying to be hyper polite and friendly and responsive. I'm sure my brother is surprised as hell that I'm engaging with her; I've talked more to her in 2013 than I have to him. I guess it helps that she asked me to be in her bridal party; about 1/2 the communication is wedding oriented.
To clarify, I think it's great that she's family oriented, and maybe fresh perspective will actually help my FOO work through some of our ish, it's just ... feels WEIRD!
Is this normal? Anyone been through it? It is important to me that I build a healthy relationship with her, because I'm choosing to assume she'll be in my brother's (and therefore my) life long term.
Any BTDT stories of encouragement (or words of caution) to share?
My XH was an only child with elderly parents who I'd known for years, so there was virtually no transition then.