As I sit here, and listen to my son cry, because he has sleep issues since my BH and I separated, I wonder if there truly is a special place in Hell for me, just as the BS of my AP said there is.
I have to believe that I can be a better person, and change, otherwise, I'll wallow here indefinitely and I don't want to keep making the same wrong choices.
When do you start to forgive yourself? I can't worry aboout anyone else forgiving me, until I figure out how to do that.
I hurt so many people, my child, my husband, my family, my friends, the AP's family, wife, and I know I can never make amends with all of them, but does it matter if I can't make amends with myself?
Today has just been crappy. I just want to stop hating myself, and focus on hating what I did, but how?