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CharlieFoxtrot (original poster member #38010) posted at 5:26 AM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013
that I have done a lot more healing than I realized...
I had some business things to deal with with STBX, face to face for the first time in 9 months. I used to tremble at the sight of his name in my inbox. I would literally throw up every time I heard his voice. Today when I saw him, nothing. No hives, no shaking hand or trembling legs, and only once or twice I threw up just a little in my mouth. Anytime he said something off subject, the redirect came easy, and the majority of the time, when he spoke, all I could think was, "I am co-parenting with a f***ing muppet!" 
I don't remember who was the one to say that, but THANK YOU!! The voices in my head were laughing constantly and it made it difficult to get caught up in unnecessary drama. I also ended up with a crazy case of the yawns!
Today was a day of victory in the healing process, thank you to all my SI friends, you have helped this girl more than you can ever imagine!!
Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 5:27 AM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013
I love to read about recovery in action! Good for you CharlieFoxtrot.
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 5:34 AM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013
ah, yes, the wise words of StrongButBroken. 
They left a lasting impression on me too.
Good on you CF! progress.
Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012
Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 5:36 AM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013
Just got on and saw this.... What a way to end my day. Thank you for this wonderful news... I love it when we can see the healing.
And the co parenting with a muppet....
Glad it went well. You did the hard work to get this far... Don't forget that. We can give all the advice in the world... you taking what you could use and working with it-got you to where you are today.
Awesome..
K
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
dmari ( member #37215) posted at 5:58 AM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013
LOVE this post!! Thank you for sharing a BIG victory with us today!! I love reading posts like this!
stronggirl72 ( member #37293) posted at 4:15 PM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013
Yeaaah!! So glad to hear it. 
"Taking the high road, and doing it with class."
DIVORCED!!
tesla ( member #34697) posted at 4:47 PM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013
High five!!!
Feels good looking at them in the rear view mirror, doesn't it?
"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 4:56 PM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013
Go on, you, with your healing and rockstar attitude.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
CharlieFoxtrot (original poster member #38010) posted at 8:17 PM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013
Feels good looking at them in the rear view mirror, doesn't it?
A thousand times YES!! I am still feeling empowered and amazed at how much life has changed in this past year. Experiences that could have easily destroyed me and yet, although crushed for a time, life goes on. While it isn't the life I had planned, I am realizing that in some ways it is just, well, better.
Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
SBB ( member #35229) posted at 9:17 AM on Thursday, April 4th, 2013
Love this and not just because I'm an egomaniac.
It still puts a a smile on my face.
My full quote was "I am co-parenting with a fucking muppet. And not even one of the important ones, a lower muppet".
I had to see monster for our first court session today and I had to stop myself giggling after I thought: "Yep - still a lower muppet for sure".
Laughter really is the best medicine.
[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 4:24 AM, April 4th (Thursday)]
I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!
Ashland13 ( member #38378) posted at 10:28 PM on Monday, April 29th, 2013
This is where I strive to be.
Prior to false R I was really getting there, but false R brought DDay, which brought me back down to hell.
I've wondered at loose timetables for when I can be more detatched and I like how CF was able to describe the reactions that I have as well.
I also had/have panic attacks, because I don't know if I see STBXH, will he ignore me or make a fight if he doesn't ignore me?
The term "co parenting" is an interesting one, because STBXH is pretty half-assed and doesn't do what he said he would.
NL (Neighbor Lady) is three years past divorce and says, "It's like I have three sons! DS9 is the most responsible of all!
Ashland 13
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
-George Washington
ruinedandbroken ( member #29250) posted at 2:35 AM on Tuesday, April 30th, 2013
Yaaaay!
“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 8&11
Married 14 yrs Together 21
homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 2:42 AM on Tuesday, April 30th, 2013
"It's like I have three sons! DS9 is the most responsible of all!
I can relate to this^^^^
Every encounter with him is like talking to a 4 year old and I'm not joking.
It has helped that I realize now that he knows he cannot get me riled up, so he really tries to when it comes to our children, visitation, etc. So, I don't give him the satisfaction of an argument.
Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55
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