Trying to rebuild each day
Just like he can't fix you, you can't fix him. All you can do is be supportive. Sounds like he should be seeing a professional if those are his symptoms.
Keep living in the disgust and shame and you will get no where.
He was given a prescription for an AD and is going to make an appointment for IC. He did that for 4 years due to his low self esteem, however he didn't feel that it worked for him (probably due to his therapist). I am trying to be supportive. Shame and disgust have been a huge part of my for a long time.
They have ruled my life. My bad sexual experiences in childhood really messed me up. This is extremely humiliating and embarrasing, but due to my shame and bad past, I have been unable to ever orgasm, even when masturbating. (It's amazing what I'll post when no one knows who I am
) I've had shame about sex because I felt used by so many men due to my "giving away of myself" too soon. I was looking for someone to love me. And I had him, in my BH - but I still felt shame then with him. And my AP wasn't able to give me an orgasm either. This is probably TMI, but it may help in me understanding my motivations for my affair.
I would start with gaining some knowledge about the subject from some of the professionals in the field of marital recovery from adultery.
I've been reading a lot. I have read the book After the Affair and almost done with When Good People Have Affairs. I also got Not Just Friends because I saw so many people post about that book here.
Me - WW 40
Him - BH 41 (mpb1974)
2 Furrbabies - sweet cats
Met - 8/13/99
Started dating - 9/11/99
Moved in together - 3/03
Engaged - 6/5/09
Married - 8/21/10
D-Day - 1/24/13
Affair started 5/09