last night, peterpan managed to pull me part of the way out of my own mind, lessen my panicky thinking, help enforce a no-phone/email rule for the rest of the night (which i completely agreed to-see D/S)and do a decent job of calming me, despite my resistance. at first i felt like he was rushing me through it...and he likely is a little, he doesn't want to hear about XH, (what H would?) though i'm sure the part where i despise XH now is working for H. he listens plenty, it has just been overwhelming me these last couple days. i just haven't been "present" at all, even when not talking. he wanted to pull me back to "present" for the night and help me detach. once i let him, he took the most tender care of me until i was fast asleep. bubble bath, cocktail, understanding, patience, some other stuff....
i know he was worried about what emails i might have waiting for me this morning (none! yay!)...so he sent me this to read upon waking:
good morning my love,
you are the best life companion, lover, friend, mommy, and all around brilliant, sexy goddess. you've friends and family who love, adore, respect, and support you. i'm encouraging you to always and forever ensure you give all your priorities to the positives in your Universe before you do the necessary detachments to clean the shit, and when able, outsource the cleaning to the professionals so you can always and forever keep the first things in your life the first priorities in your life.
i'm so much more hooked than i was when sitting in a tube on the river, and DD and i need you so much more, and we will support you so much more with our unconditional love and caring. we want your time and attention for our family and we promise that the love and smiles you get in return will always be the best investment of your time.
have a wonderful day, not just a day that sucks less than yesterday, but make today a truly wonderful day. guard against being sucked into what you know will suck, and instead connect with friends, family, professionals, and most importantly, you! connect with your Stretch13-ness and be in the 'awesome' that the Universe is producing for you.
hugs and cuddles, gropes and smooches, kisses and comfort, peace and joy :)
love,
your peterpan
sigh. life here is so much better than any part of my 1st M. 
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life must be rich and full of loving--it's no good otherwise, no good at all, for anyone - j. kerouac
