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A friend of mine is getting married this fall and due to work obligations I won't be able to attend. I would still like to get her a gift, though.

She's registered at a few places and I looked at her registries tonight. It would make sense for me to buy from the registries as she currently lives on the other side of the country from me and it would make for easy shipping, but I find registries really impersonal. Like you just grabbed something from a list without putting much thought into it.

What do you think? Registry or no?

I kind of find the opposite. I think this way you are guaranteed to get the couple something they want or need and have picked personally.

It depends on the recipients.

If I really know them, I give cash. If I don't, I buy something off the registry.

In your case given the distance, I think it's a perfect solution.

AJ's MOM

Yes, I love registries!! But I do try to find a "set" of things that kind of go together, like a pizza stone + pizza cutter, and maybe add something like a Trader Joe's gift certificate since they have such easy pizza dough.

Definitely. Meta took the words out of my mouth .

I don't think it's impersonal; people register for things they'd like to have.

OTOH, I have a go-to wedding gift that is not found on registries---one I give to people I really like.

Registries=stuff your friends/family really want to have=stuff they won't roll their eyes about and then return to the store for something else = win for you and win for them.

Oh I'm always so grateful for registries!! Then I know I'm getting them something they want. Like Ama, I often bundle like things together and maybe dress it up with a few funny or sweet things if I know the couple well.

T/J: what's up with people buying 3 out of 8 dinner plates, or all but one set of dinnerware, or 8 out of 12 cloth napkins? I just looked over my cousin's wedding registry and saw that 4 out of 12 NAPKIN RINGS had been purchased. Who the heck only buys 4 $4 napkin rings and leaves the other 8?

I like registries because I know the couple will want what I give them. And there are usually a mix of items that they need along with some "big dream" items.

Perhaps you should try to think of a gift you would want to give your friend and then search the registry for something along that line. For example, if you know you friend loves to cook then get her something unusual from the kitchen items. Or if you know she likes spa treatment, get her some things that can make her bathroom spa-like.

I've done both; it really depends on who the person is, how much money I have to spend on the gift, and what they have on their registry. If I feel like my options aren't very personable, I may buy something that would be personable, but also something that would get used (wine glasses, wine, etc).

I rarely buy from registries. I love shopping at Tiffany and have no reason (or money) to go for myself. But I can get a nice gift in the same price range as registry gifts... and what bride wouldn't love getting a blue Tiffany bag???

When my daughter got married they registered with a couple of places and were able to put together some very nice "sets" of things because different people bought "parts" of it....

I went together with my Mum and we outfitted the bathroom (shower curtain/liner, mat, towels/facecloths, toothbrush holder/cup/soap dish, decorative pieces all in the same set)...they got good quality things, all matching, and were very happy!

I would rather know that the gift I buy is something they want/need and won't get "returned/exchanged"...

It is much easier for shipping also (most places).

HUGS

As someone who had a wedding two years ago and is currently working on a baby registry, I TOTALLY LOVE IT when people buy off the registry! It's stuff we need/want, I know where to return it if we get duplicates, it is guaranteed to match our decor/home/other stuff.

I do agree with others- I often try and find a few items to piece together, make a little "basket" (or shipping box!) that goes together. That shows thought!

I would buy from the registry. If you find that impersonal, I would also then send a card expressing my joy to the couple with their upcoming nuptials and at the same time expressing regret for not being able to attend their special day. You can also mention that there will be a gift coming in the mail shortly.

Oh yes..I always buy from registries. That way I know the B & G wanted and will keep my gift.

I agree that it feels impersonal, but for weddings I almost always buy from a registry. For baby showers, if it is someone I am close to I will make things. I made nursery curtains for a friend once (that was less a surprise and more pre-arranged) The blanket I made for my cousin's daughter ended up being her "blankie" all thru her toddler years. That was pretty special.