Well I finally put my foot down with the ex. Without going into a long story, I have been covering the differance between CS and what she needs to make budget (in the interest of the kids). Well she has been procrastniating about getting a budget put together and hasn't been pulling in as much money as expected either. So I finally just told her to get of her butt and get it done tonight. Surprisingly she agreed! I don't want to take money from the kids but I have been overpaying her for two months now so she can live comfortably, while I'm broke and incuring additional debt. So after breaking down everything she actually seemed to understand, and is going to email me a structured budget tomarrow.
So here's to hoping it holds.