It's a sad reality, but I think the majority of folks here, whether BS or WS have had more than one d-day. Nobody should have even one d-day, but the way WS's are, and the way infidelity is, it just seems common for multiple d-days to happen.
It's what you do now that will matter. Is there going to be a third d-day? Did you really only have sex in the front room? Was there more? Are there anymore secrets that will blind-side your BS? Get it all out now. Give your BS the info she needs to make the decision that she needs to make to keep herself safe.
For you, work on figuring out why you were scared to tell of the second A. Keep working to figure out why you have your A's. Work to put boundaries in place. Work to be honest and transparent in your life.
There are some nights where I can't sleep. I'll be up until 4:00am and then at work around 7:30 or so. Then there are the nights when I wake up at 2:00am and can't get back to sleep. Used to be because of of the A and all of that shit. Now it is mostly work that messes with my head. There are certain types of tea that can help. Sometimes a tylenol will help. Sometimes posting on SI helps. Use whatever tools you can to take care of yourself.