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Going Backwards!

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twiceburned posted 4/6/2013 10:15 AM

I thought I was doing well, and all of a sudden, the stress of moving has me in a tailspin.
My ex, who will get half of the equity of the sale of the house, is away with his GF, having yet another vacation. I feel so overwhelmed and bitter packing, cleaning, downsizing, etc all by myself.

Any tips on moving forward and ditching this anger? I can't stand myself today!

Survivor3512 posted 4/6/2013 10:21 AM

(((Twice))) Moving is just hard and it sucks. Try to think about how once this is done, that's one less thing that ties you to your x. That means you're one step closer to putting all of the past hurt and pain behind you. One step closer to being really free. One step closer to being at peace. Hang in there- you can do this. Things are gonna get better from here.

twiceburned posted 4/6/2013 10:54 AM

It is amazing how much strength a stranger can infuse into another person.

Thank you Survivor, I was able to meet my goal of packing just TWO boxes. Now I am going to do a few more, just because I can. I really believe in new beginnings.

stillstrong posted 4/6/2013 10:59 AM

One thing I did to make me feel better was leave behind every single picture of us, every love note, card, letter, photo album (before kids)... It just made me feel good to show him that those things didn't have meaning for me anymore. I knew he wouldn't throw them away so he'd have to keep them.
Maybe it will cause trouble down the road when OW wonders why he still has it all.

Amazonia posted 4/6/2013 11:42 AM

Girl, are you packing all alone!? Call some friends, have them each bring a bottle of wine and a few boxes, and you'll be done before you know it!

phmh posted 4/6/2013 15:00 PM

Get yourself some sort of reward for the work you've done today. Like a favorite ice cream flavor, fancy beer, a massage; something.

I know it's tough and moving is stressful even under the best conditions! As Survivor said, it's one less thing that tied you to the X. I found that my true healing began once the divorce was final, house was sold, car titles were transferred, etc. In other words, once everything truly had been severed and I could move on as a single entity. You'll get there. Know that this is temporary!

FaithFool posted 4/6/2013 15:01 PM

I'm on my fifth move in as many years. I feel your pain, but the upside is that the pile gets smaller every time.

Leaving the house is the hardest first step, and the fact that he's not helping makes it tougher.

There will be peace on the other side though. And wine...

((((TB))))))

torn2bits posted 4/6/2013 20:36 PM

You have gotten some good advice here. Yes, get some friends to help and remember that you are moving FORWARD in your life. This is a good thing!

BrokenSpirit50 posted 4/6/2013 20:58 PM

TB...I'm so sorry, all this crap sucks. I see you were married a long time too.

When you get in your new place invite some friends over for an impromptu party. It will be all your own place and own friends. Leave those bad memories behind.

I wish I could help you pack. Here is some cyber help coming your way.

Survivor3512 posted 4/6/2013 21:49 PM

I hope you had a good and productive day today. You've been on my mind. So glad to see that you made some packing progress. Packing and moving were both very hard for me. But I feel sooo much better now that I am in my own place. It's a relief. I hope it'll be the same for you.

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