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User
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Topic: Codependant no more
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summerain
♀ 37439
Member # 37439 |  Posted: 12:38 AM, April 7th (Sunday), 2013 |     |
This book has made me extremely depressed. Can anyone tell me if it actually helped?
OW1 inadvertently let me know WH loves English breakfast tea. Never ever saw him drink it. And I never will.
Posts: 818 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Australia |
authenticnow
♀ 16024
Member # 16024 | | Posted: 6:25 AM, April 7th (Sunday), 2013 | |
Lauren, I haven't read it, but I bumped a thread about books for codependents for you. Maybe that will help.
Happiness is an inside job. ---William Arthur Ward
Posts: 40891 | Registered: Sep 2007 |
phmh
♀ 34146
Member # 34146 | | Posted: 11:04 AM, April 7th (Sunday), 2013 | |
Why did it make you depressed?
It helped me to recognize some behaviors I had, such as putting my XWH's needs ahead of my own. Things that I worked on and eventually it's made my other (non-romantic) relationships much better and stronger.
Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!
Married: 11 years, no kids
Character is destiny
Posts: 3688 | Registered: Dec 2011 |
tesla
♀ 34697
Member # 34697 | | Posted: 11:36 AM, April 7th (Sunday), 2013 | |
I read it and it was extremely helpful for me. I think I was initially bothered by being a "type," KWIM? But after having thought about it and accepting that I was that way, I have been able to work on curtailing those tendencies.
"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear
Posts: 4956 | Registered: Jan 2012 |
Amazonia
♀ 32810
Member # 32810 | | Posted: 12:34 PM, April 7th (Sunday), 2013 | |
OMG this book changed my life.
Why did it depress you?
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
Posts: 14049 | Registered: Jul 2011 |
summerain
♀ 37439
Member # 37439 | | Posted: 12:25 AM, April 8th (Monday), 2013 | |
Tbh I have only read the first two chapters. I don't know it didn't give me much hope,there was a checklist and I filled every single thing except wh having an addiction (other than smoking)
I guess i wanted to know if it gets less depressing. Though ur responses give me hope lol 
OW1 inadvertently let me know WH loves English breakfast tea. Never ever saw him drink it. And I never will.
Posts: 818 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Australia |
Amazonia
♀ 32810
Member # 32810 | | Posted: 5:40 AM, April 8th (Monday), 2013 | |
Have you heard the phrase "the first step to solving a problem Is admitting you have a problem"? Or something like that?
The beginning of the book is a tough pill to swallow, I can definitely see that, especially if you've never seen yourself as codependent before. It can be a bit of a rude awakening.
However, the rest of the book is about where to go from that realization, how to heal, how to care for yourself, how to replace unhealthy habits with healthy ones.
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
Posts: 14049 | Registered: Jul 2011 |
tesla
♀ 34697
Member # 34697 | | Posted: 6:15 AM, April 8th (Monday), 2013 | |
Please don't stop reading it. It's ok to acknowledge that you are a co-dependent...you are in great company. 
One of the nice outcomes from reading the book was that now at work, I recognize co-dependent situations and I back slowly away.
"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear
Posts: 4956 | Registered: Jan 2012 |
Amazonia
♀ 32810
Member # 32810 | | Posted: 8:11 AM, April 8th (Monday), 2013 | |
It's ok to acknowledge that you are a co-dependent...you are in great company.
Darn right you are! 
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
Posts: 14049 | Registered: Jul 2011 |
summerain
♀ 37439
Member # 37439 | | Posted: 9:18 AM, April 8th (Monday), 2013 | |
Haha i will read some more tomorrow then. Especially since it seems so good!
OW1 inadvertently let me know WH loves English breakfast tea. Never ever saw him drink it. And I never will.
Posts: 818 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Australia |
rachelc
♀ 30314
Member # 30314 | | Posted: 6:38 AM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013 | |
best line for me: control comes from fear, fear comes from lack of trust.
his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12
me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's
“Take action to change what needs changing. Take action to respond to your situation. Let the discouragement take ca
Posts: 6409 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest |
2kidsandadog
♀ 33679
Member # 33679 | | Posted: 3:41 PM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013 | |
lauren,
No, it didn't make me extremely depressed BUT it took me like 5 months to read it because it was so hard and shameful to read about MYSELF. Then the regret sank in because I wished so badly I'd have been able to implement my behaviors so many years ago (like when I was 20) and not married who I married.
I FORCED myself to finish it because I knew I needed to read it, but of all the boring, mindless, plotless books I've read, this book was by far the most difficult, emotion filled, degrading book I've ever read.
So, your depression is totally understandable, You are not alone.
Divorced 05/11/11 -
2kids - 20 and 22 (Thank God for them)
Too many Ddays to count. Enough said!
Posts: 693 | Registered: Oct 2011 |
| Topic Posts: 12 | |
