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Newest Member: truck (61832)

User Topic: Time to restart my NB
♀ 8309
Member # 8309
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, April 7th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all,
not many on here who likely remember me and my journey.. similar to many here - married for many years to a narcissist who put me through hell.. got out of that and with the help of SI and an awesome therapist I moved on. I rediscovered who I was, built new interests, got healthy and fit, and I had a great relationship for several years, but it ran it's course and with my 2 kids, it wasn't the time for that relationship to go further. As that ended, my D got sick and was eventually diagnosed with cancer. My life essentially stopped while I focused on her. Now she is healthy, and in fall I'll have an empty nest with 2 kids off to college.

So, it's time to try and restart my new beginning - now I'm older, heavier, and broker!
I've decided that I would like another relationship, but I feel very discouraged that at this point in my life, especially where I live now, I don't think I'll find someone for that.
I need to fix up my house and sell it, figure out my career, rebuild finances... all the things that will help me move forward.
So how much is possible at this point? I'm feeling overwhelmed, sad, lonely and lost...

me- BS

Divorced & living again.

"Let go or get dragged" - beaner

Life is Good

Posts: 10989 | Registered: Sep 2005
♀ 24518
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, April 7th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's all possible, if you work on it in little bits at a time, so it's not so overwhelming.

That's what I'm trying to do, anyway.


There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown

Posts: 13042 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartof, Texas
♀ 20150
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, April 7th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I can't imagine the stress of dealing with a child with cancer.

I'm so glad she is better now.

Now is the time refocus on you. You know this.

I think you need to break it back down to the baby steps -- you've been there before, we all have right?

First off, congratulations on surviving what must have been an incredibly stressful situation. You did it! You, all by yourself.

Congratulate yourself for that.

Now, first things first. You can't tackle the next round of life renovations unless you're healthy.

Put all that other crap (house fixing, finding a new guy, figuring out where to live next) on the back burner and start with weight loss. Get your diet sorted out -- go online and google Jillian Michaels, the hellion who runs 1/3 of Biggest Loser.

Get a workout plan happening -- go out and walk, ride a bike, do yoga, jazzercise, zoomba, whatever makes you feel good and whatever you can manage.

Do this every day.

If you're stress eating, taper off and start eating well, fuel your body for the tasks ahead.

Give yourself 90 days to just focus on this.

I bet by the time that 90 days rolls by, you will be in better shape to start figuring out the rest of it.

In the meantime make yourself a priority. And try not to stress about tomorrow. Just do this one day at a time, set some goals and work toward them.

And post here about your progress.

Big hugs, you can do this.

[This message edited by FaithFool at 12:07 PM, April 7th (Sunday)]

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 20722 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
♀ 37946
Member # 37946
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, April 7th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Brokenapart))) You've been through so much. I am so happy to hear your daughter is better. I think you can do all of those things. Like previous posters said, you just need to break it down into bite-size pieces. You are a strong person and you've done this before. You can do it again.

Me (BS)- 36
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming- Dorie

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Southeastern U.S.
♀ 34678
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 9:41 PM, April 7th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great advice on the 90 days of focusing on yourself.

I think I will do the same,,I've been having a hard time lately, too...

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child.
Dday 12/19/11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!
D final10/30/2012

Posts: 4162 | Registered: Jan 2012
Topic Posts: 5

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