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brokenapart posted 4/7/2013 11:47 AM

Hi all,
not many on here who likely remember me and my journey.. similar to many here - married for many years to a narcissist who put me through hell.. got out of that and with the help of SI and an awesome therapist I moved on. I rediscovered who I was, built new interests, got healthy and fit, and I had a great relationship for several years, but it ran it's course and with my 2 kids, it wasn't the time for that relationship to go further. As that ended, my D got sick and was eventually diagnosed with cancer. My life essentially stopped while I focused on her. Now she is healthy, and in fall I'll have an empty nest with 2 kids off to college.

So, it's time to try and restart my new beginning - now I'm older, heavier, and broker!
I've decided that I would like another relationship, but I feel very discouraged that at this point in my life, especially where I live now, I don't think I'll find someone for that.
I need to fix up my house and sell it, figure out my career, rebuild finances... all the things that will help me move forward.
So how much is possible at this point? I'm feeling overwhelmed, sad, lonely and lost...

inconnu posted 4/7/2013 11:55 AM

I think it's all possible, if you work on it in little bits at a time, so it's not so overwhelming.

That's what I'm trying to do, anyway.

((brokenapart))

FaithFool posted 4/7/2013 11:59 AM

((((brokenapart))))

I can't imagine the stress of dealing with a child with cancer.

I'm so glad she is better now.

Now is the time refocus on you. You know this.

I think you need to break it back down to the baby steps -- you've been there before, we all have right?

First off, congratulations on surviving what must have been an incredibly stressful situation. You did it! You, all by yourself.

Congratulate yourself for that.

Now, first things first. You can't tackle the next round of life renovations unless you're healthy.

Put all that other crap (house fixing, finding a new guy, figuring out where to live next) on the back burner and start with weight loss. Get your diet sorted out -- go online and google Jillian Michaels, the hellion who runs 1/3 of Biggest Loser.

Get a workout plan happening -- go out and walk, ride a bike, do yoga, jazzercise, zoomba, whatever makes you feel good and whatever you can manage.

Do this every day.

If you're stress eating, taper off and start eating well, fuel your body for the tasks ahead.

Give yourself 90 days to just focus on this.

I bet by the time that 90 days rolls by, you will be in better shape to start figuring out the rest of it.

In the meantime make yourself a priority. And try not to stress about tomorrow. Just do this one day at a time, set some goals and work toward them.

And post here about your progress.

Big hugs, you can do this.

[This message edited by FaithFool at 12:07 PM, April 7th (Sunday)]

Survivor3512 posted 4/7/2013 20:05 PM

(((Brokenapart))) You've been through so much. I am so happy to hear your daughter is better. I think you can do all of those things. Like previous posters said, you just need to break it down into bite-size pieces. You are a strong person and you've done this before. You can do it again.

homewrecked2011 posted 4/7/2013 21:41 PM

Great advice on the 90 days of focusing on yourself.

I think I will do the same,,I've been having a hard time lately, too...