Yes, I got the first right of refusal and it might help you, too. If you are going back to school, you are prob going to be going online, so you'll be home. I DIDN"T want it at first, but it has been a lifesaver for me!!!! (I work part time).
Our divorce papers say if either party is unable to care for the children for 4 hours, then the Other party gets the first right of refusal before another person is allowed to babysit children. I just got my children for 3 of the 5 days of XWH spring break visitation because he had to work. I did, too, but I worked 3 hours those days (great boss). and my children are now 12 and 15, so they are ok alone now. Also,, in summer he's only getting them 2 weeks because he works the other 2 weeks he COULD have exercised his visitation.
I THINK 1st right of refusal's problem can lie if you wanted the kids to spend day with your family while you worked. Then XWH could insist he gets them that day.
I ALWAYS drop my plans if he needs to bring them home early or has something going on.
Also, see what all you can put in your papers that is backed up by contempt...such as in my state he can't have a girlfriend spend the night -- it's contempt, and drinking then driving with children there. That way you have some "teeth" in the fight.
you can search: Judge brown's standard visitation SC. Your state is probably not so restrictive, but it'll give you an idea of what to ask for(like no r rated movies, no drinking, etc). You can always hire a PI later to bust him, especially if you can get him drinking and driving with children!!!
A main thing you want is final say in ALL decisions affecting your children. (I get to say, yes they can go to camp, yes it's time for eye glasses, yes they are going to go to Speech therapy, etc). You dont want him busting up their counseling.
You will get a HUGE tax refund if you work part time, go to school and hire someone part time to watch your children. There are CREDITS you get!Like you get back thousands more than you pay in. I got back the money I paid someone to watch children, PLUS a CREDIT of a couple hundred dollars. IF you have free time, go online to one of those tax programs. You can fill it out but not submit. As you go along it tells you what your refund is gonna be. Am I making sense? LOL Hard to tell sometimes!!!!
For instance: Go to taxact online start new return. Put in your childrens ages, put filing status as head of household, put down you make 10,000 and had college expenses of 2,000 and babysitting fees of 7,000 for year and child support income of whatever you think it's gonna be. It will calculate your earned income credit and your credit for child care and your credit for college. You can see the refund figures on the top right page as you go along. You can switch it all up as you go along.
Tip: My friend told me (please verify) that displaced homemakers qualify for college to be paid thru the unemployment office. Check on yours.
Also, try to get childcare paid directly included in child support somehow. You don't want to track him down each week for it.
[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 3:52 AM, April 10th (Wednesday)]