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We went to a predecree hearing at the end of March. He basically stated in his declaration that it was my fault that the kids don't want to talk or see him; he stated that I am alienating his children from him and that is a form of abuse; and that the ONLY way to prove he is a good father and that I'm alienating the children from him is to have a custody evaluator.

In my response, I provided proof that everything he stated was bullshit. I stated that if the court felt that they needed a custody evaluator to make a sound decision, I would agree to it. So we negotiated in the hall and did not go before a judge.

But before leaving, the judge called both our attorneys in and stated that she wanted the name of our custody evaluator within 2 weeks (this Wednesday). So we signed the custody evaluator agreement.

Now, he changes his mind??? He makes all these bullshit allegations and then when it comes time to show proof, he fucking changes his mind? He says he doesn't want to pay the thousands of dollars. He also got a new attorney apparently. Idiot.

I don't think we can just change our minds on something like a custody evaluator, can we? Especially if the judge wants it?

I don't care either way but if he can change his mind, then I want him to give me full physical and legal custody and admit he is a fuckhead, oops, I meant I want him to admit that he lied in his affidavit.

What would you do? Has this happened to you? Are we allowed to change our minds if a judge specifically asks for something?

Thank you!!

eta: typos and thank you!!

[This message edited by dmari at 8:05 PM, April 7th (Sunday)]

I would think that if a judge ordered it then you would have to. I'm not sure though.

You both signed the agreement for the judge. I don't see how it would be good for STBX to not follow through with that, especially since the ONLY way to prove he is a good father is to have a custody evaluator. Let STBX figure it out.

What Advice are you getting from your lawyer on this?

If he's willing to settle on whatever kind of custody/visitation arrangement you prefer, avoid the parenting evaluator route. Trust me on this.

My attorney asked me what I wanted to do. I asked that he check if it's even possible to cancel an order from a judge.

Nature_Girl: I hear you loud and clear. Thank you for reminding me! Lies lies lies.

It's entirely possible he didn't realize how much they cost or that he would have to pay. Perhaps the new lawyer made him realize that "using the kids as pawns to hurt Dmari" was just not a good financial decision.