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Why I don't answer an online dating post

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juliette posted 4/9/2013 06:24 AM

Been on OLD on and off for a while. I had great conversations, had 3 first dates with great guys who unfortunately we didn't click that way but it was still very nice.

But yeah, I am one of those women who doesn't answer a message most of the time and I will say why.

- If the message is only "Hey" or what up
-If the guy sends me his phone number on the first message
-If the guy talks about sex in his profile or in the message
-If the guy's profile is angry towards his ex, women, or OLD in general
-If the guy's profile lists too many physical attributes they want in a woman (soccer mom by day, high heels and mini skirts at night)


The men who take the time to send me a complete sentence as a message and that it shows that they read my profile will get a response.

lieshurt posted 4/9/2013 10:33 AM

Those irritate me too. I also don't like the ones where they email you, but use text speak....an example is "how r u doin?" or if they send genitalia pics

InnerLight posted 4/9/2013 11:21 AM

That makes perfect sense!

Ready_to_run posted 4/9/2013 12:34 PM

or if they send genitalia pics

I would be frightened of a woman that would even respond to one of those!

inhishands55 posted 4/10/2013 20:28 PM

If they sent me genitalia pic...I would say something back they wouldn't like..

The first time I got one of those I immediately blocked the guy...And thought to myself and he was proud of that little thing...

inhishands55 posted 4/10/2013 20:29 PM

That is one of the many reasons I don't do OLD anymore or ever again....

HappilyUnMarried posted 4/10/2013 22:30 PM

I did OLD on and off for 3 years. I got "better" at it towards the end, but I decided that attending Meetup.com events worked better for me (which is where I found my SO, the longest relationship I have had since D).

But I did have good luck on OLD as I became an OLD veteran (ugh, that sounds bad!). Some tips and tricks I learned along the way...

1. Put a profile out there that matches your personality; not what you "wish" you were. Those matches don't stick-- it's false advertising. State who you really are in your profile and you will more likely attract others who like "you". I went on many dates, in the beginning, where I didn't get a call back for a second date. Once I was "true to myself" in my profile, I attracted guys who were better matches.

2. I had much better luck on OK Cupid than anywhere else. The difference is the multiple-choice questions. I spent a lot of time answering those questions and reading the answers of potential matches. The more questions I answered, and the more I compared my answers with potential dates, the better the dates turned out.

3. I don't care how hot the guy is... If he sends you a message without even commenting about something in your profile, don't bother. Unless, of course, you are just looking for a fuck buddy. Because that's probably all he is going for... the superficial.

4. A first date should be an hour long, max. State this up front. This way you don't have to be committed if your date turns out to be a dud. After an hour you both will have made up your mind on whether there will be a second date.

5. This one was really hard for me... because I talk a lot when I am nervous. Listen. Ask questions. Collect data. Don't overshare. You will learn so much more about your date this way. If he doesn't ask you questions, that tells you a lot about this person... Self. Centered.

[This message edited by HappilyUnMarried at 10:34 PM, April 10th (Wednesday)]

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