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Children: sweet and sad

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ChoosingHope posted 4/9/2013 20:59 PM

My best friend told me today that her daughter asked her if she and my son (both 8) could cook me and STBX a "special dinner" so that we "make up, stop the divorce," and "get back together again."

It made my eyes tear up. It's been nearly two years since STBX and I have been separated, and my children still think it's as easy as a fancy dinner. So sad.

Meanwhile my daughter got to publish a "story" at school. It was about a girl who gets married in a big white dress. And lives happily ever after. She read this out loud to all the parents in her class.

I'm finding everything so hard and so sad lately.

tryingagain74 posted 4/9/2013 21:05 PM

DS #2 and DD still draw pictures that show their family as STBX, me, the two of them, and DS #1. In the meantime, STBX is trying his darndest to sell the OW and her two kids to them and to get them all excited about their "new family."

He hasn't a clue. All our kids want is for the two of us to get back together, not a new stepmommy and stepsiblings.

It is very sad. In their attempts to escape the BSs, the WSs often end up damaging the innocent kids far more.


Nature_Girl posted 4/9/2013 23:47 PM

Oh mercy, this is breaking my heart.

tabitha95 posted 4/9/2013 23:53 PM

At last years teacher conference, DS10 had to decorate a folder. He drew a line down the middle and on one side drew a picture of EX, DS10 and DS12 and the pets. Then on the other side, a picture of me, DS10 and DS12.

For Christmas, he apologized that the present he made in class wasn't painted as well as he wanted, but he had to rush and make two, one for me and one for his dad.

I never wanted my kids to know pain and confusion like that. It breaks my heart over and over when I think about it.

Getting to Happy posted 4/9/2013 23:56 PM

My best friend told me today that her daughter asked her if she and my son (both 8) could cook me and STBX a "special dinner" so that we "make up, stop the divorce," and "get back together again."

Out of the mouth of babes...

(((ChoosingHope and Friends and Kiddos)))

Peace and Light to you and yours.

dmari posted 4/10/2013 01:04 AM

I'm finding everything so hard and so sad lately. Big hugs ChoosingHope.

Infidelity just continues to sneak up during every day moments in our children's lives. Yesterday, I was having a conversation with DS14 and he was telling me that he will never have sex because he doesn't want to have children and have them suffer like he is.

These are the heartbreaking moments that our WS's will never have to deal with. Fucking cowards.

silverhopes posted 4/10/2013 01:16 AM


Happydays posted 4/10/2013 02:05 AM

My heart broke after reading this thread.

Children so don't deserve this.

torn2bits posted 4/10/2013 07:58 AM

The only thing we can do is to provide warm hugs to them and be the best parents we can be.

My heart goes out to all the children. The worst thing is that I myself had a bad childhood and can see the aftermath. I never, ever wanted that for any kids I had.

I can't control him, I can't fix him and I can't change him.

Distraut posted 4/10/2013 08:25 AM

My DS11 and DD13 revealed to me last night that XWW told DD13 her roomate was not a girl like she told DD13 but A POSBF I asked is she said who it was she said no DS11 piped up and said I know and OM's name.I explained that I wanted to tell them but didnt want XWW to hate me or resent me the rest of our lives plus she owns that shit not me.I also told them that when your married its never ok to have a BF or GF.I told them they need to try to respect their M not what she did DS11 said it will be hard to respect her Dad sadly I said I know son.Im glad they finally know and didnt hear it at school.We had some good bonding time DD13 says she will never speak to her again and if I ever let her move back she wants a lock on her door and a mini fridge in her room.I also never wanted my children to experience this awful pain it just sucks XWW believes they will be just fine.

ChoosingHope posted 4/10/2013 09:30 AM






TrustGone posted 4/10/2013 09:58 AM

I know exactly what you mean. My DS was 8 when I filed for D from XWH#1. He is now 19 and in the military. I know he used to hope that his Dad and I would get back together. He always blamed me for the D as I never told him about the OW. He just thought she was Dad's "friend". She dumped XWH#1 shortly after I filed because my money was no longer available to the ex. He immediately developed a dislike for WH#2 because he thought his Dad and I would get back together if it wasn't for him. I am not sure what my ex told him the reason for the divorce was. I am sure it was that I left him for WH#2, which was not the case. I didn't even know WH#2 until 3 months after I filed for D and didn't introduce them until I had been dating WH#2 for about 6 months. I just told him that sometimes adults have differences that just can't be worked out. I have thought about telling him the whole truth now that he is an adult, but I don't want to tarnish the image he has of his Dad. He worships the man and would probably not believe me now anyway after all the lies that his Dad and the in-laws told him.

tryingagain74 posted 4/10/2013 10:16 AM

(((everyone on the thread and their sweet kiddos)))

At least they have US.

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