So here's the latest, unrelated yet somewhat related event. (Not the same kids, but an physical incident.)
Just had to get this off my chest as I just soothed DD3 back to sleep. This is the email I just sent the school Administrator.
Hello K****,
I felt compelled to write this as I've just soothed DD3 back to sleep after she shot awake screaming and recounting an incident that happened in daycare today.
According to the daily report I received, DD3 had her hair pulled by another child today. She was in a good mood when I picked her up, and the report indicated that the other child had been given a time-out and was made to apologize. I was also pleased to read that DD3 was coached on how to say "no" in those kinds of situations.
I understand that the afternoon staff (M******) was not there to witness but that she attended a meeting in which this was discussed. Although she followed protocol by not revealing who the child was, and I understand your need for privacy, she did indicate that it sounded like a somewhat difficult thing for DD3 to go through, particularly because it took a a teacher to "pry the child off of her" before her hair was released. I was also shocked to find about 15 loose strands of hair attached to DD3's hair tie which was waiting for me on the hook in front of her folder.
Because I discussed concern with (Teacher) earlier that morning regarding another student that DD3 reported as hitting her, I think the team wanted to point out to me that this was a separate and isolated incident. What was also pointed out to me in that reassurance was that DD3 was not targeted, as this student has had a history of physical incidents that were being taken seriously by (Center). I asked what the policy was for these kinds of things, and I was told that the parents had been informed of the incident. Again, I respect the call for privacy when directly relating to these kinds of things.
DD3 is a pretty good communicator, and a tough cookie. When I got her in the car she independently informed me that J**** had pulled her hair. This didn't come as a surprise, because she has told me on two other occasions that he either hit "my (her) noggin" or pushed her. She even reported that he pushed A******. Considering that these things are bound to happen in smaller doses with toddlers, and that it wasn't on her daily report, I figured that it was another day in the life at daycare.
I have never, EVER had to calm a sobbing DD3 from a nightmare. It makes me feel like what happened in the classroom must have been pretty traumatic for her, and it hurts my heart as well as makes me concerned regarding how much exposure she has to this child.
Your staff and school is wonderful, and I'm trusting that you've been through this before and know how to protect a class from a student that may have recurring or escalating problems with lashing out physically. I guess what I'm asking is at what point a child is asked to take a break or not to return after these kinds of incidents. If the staff had to intervene in order to keep DD3 safe.... if I found a chunk of hair missing (no blood), does this count as something significant and worthy of review?
I'm still pretty new to this. I'm trying to take with a grain of salt the fact that DD3 is highly communicative about physical contact because she is unaccustomed to unwanted touches and needs to practice defending herself appropriately, especially with her words.
I'm just sad and concerned because she's great a shrugging things off, and was crying and yelling moments ago (3:00am) and telling me that "J**** is a dragon and he's trying to hurt me (her)." This type of event is unprecedented.
Thank you for taking the time to listen. I would appreciate any guidance or support you may be able to offer.
Best Regards,
Jrazz
[This message edited by Jrazz at 5:52 AM, April 13th (Saturday)]