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Hair on women

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 stupidstupidme (original poster member #11888) posted at 7:05 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013

I have a question... I have had my hair various lengths throughout my adulthood. Currently, I have been letting it grow for the past two years, and it is nearing my bra strap. Not quite there, but definitely past my shoulders.

I like it. I love it long, and want to keep growing it a little more - maybe to bra strap, then have a nice style and keep that for a while.

I am thinking that at 40 years old, this might be my last go-round with long hair. Do you think that after a certain age, women trying to keep really long hair just doesn't look good? For some reason, I have this idea in my head and I've definitely seen some older women that really need to cut that shit... but I also thinks it depends on the hair and the style. I think I've seen women in their older years with nice, beautiful long hair too.

Thoughts? (oh and my hairdresser made some side comment about it too - which kind of got me thinking...)

Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength
August Wilson

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Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 7:27 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013

When I was in high school, my art teacher was probably in her 60s. She had waist length white hair. The tips were grey, like a dip dye almost, except it had just turned white over time. It was beautiful and fit her personality perfectly. She usually wore it down. She was definitely the stereotypical art teacher, always wore lots of hemp jewelry, long flowy skirts, loose, flowy tops.

I think it completely depends on 1) your hair type (hair like mine looks awful long, gets all stringy), 2) your personality, and 3) somewhat your profession - but that's more a matter of how you style it (I'm thinking buns or clipped up) than the actual length.

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

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Newlease ( member #7767) posted at 8:12 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013

I don't think there are RULES about hair length anymore. As long as it is kept up - styled, etc., I think it is perfectly acceptable to have longer hair as you get older.

The most important thing is that YOU like it. If you feel it looks good, that will project to other people.

I'm 52 and have gray shoulder-length hair. I think I look fabulous!

NL

Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

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Crescita ( member #32616) posted at 8:15 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013

I think the women of a certain age can't wear long hair custom should go the way of mom jeans.

“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

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 stupidstupidme (original poster member #11888) posted at 8:18 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013

Yay! hahahaha now I'm growing it out even longer, just to spite my hair dresser! hahaha

Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength
August Wilson

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cayc ( member #21964) posted at 8:29 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013

I have super long hair and I'm 46. I get compliments all the time on it. If people think it's too young a hairstyle for me, they've kindly not said so to my face lol.

But it takes upkeep. A good cut (there are multiple layers to help it lay well), keratin treatments to cut down on the tangling, and again to help it lay well, use a lot more shampoo etc.

I also only wash it once a week b/c it's such a bear to wash and blow out.

Overall though, if it looks good on you, or rather you think it looks good on you, then do it.

But then, I have a Hello Kitty phone case and travel mug so I may not be the best person to comment about age appropriate things

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jrc1963 ( member #26531) posted at 8:54 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013

I'll be 45 in a few months... I have long hair (as long as it will grow) and I intend to keep it that way until I'm dead.

I don't care what anyone thinks.

Me: BSO - 56 Him: FWSO - 79 DS - 23 D-Day - 12-11-09, R - he finally came homeYour life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

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Holly-Isis ( member #13447) posted at 9:49 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013

I have super long hair and I'm 46.

That's because you look 36!

I've been growing my hair out too. Had multicolored tips this year. I'll be 40 in a couple of months and I'm noticing more and more white hairs. I was wondering if I looked like I was in some sort of midlife crisis and maybe I should nix the reds/pinks/blues/greens and cut my hair shorter.

"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

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 stupidstupidme (original poster member #11888) posted at 9:53 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013

Thanks Holly - that's another good point!

I just bought hair dye yesterday - for almost two years, I have kept my hair a solid warm dark brown color. I love it, but I do get bored easily, and from my teen years until just a few years ago, I loved the reds... a nice dark auburn - burgundy color. I really thought about doing it again, but went with the dark brown again - thinking it being so long and me being so OLD - might look too... I dunno - crass... tacky? Prob not, just my fear.

Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength
August Wilson

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gma56 ( member #19595) posted at 10:02 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013

Do it if you like it. I don't think it's an age thing at all.

I'm a natural very light blond and it's thick enough but fine like a child's. It is a mess too long. I had it to my butt when I was in my 20s and I miss it but some how during the aging process it's not what it use to be and was never the same after heavy meds when I was very sick in my 40s. I won't cut it too short but I wish I could have it that long again.

I have 40-long hair envy.

Gma

BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

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woundedwidow ( member #36869) posted at 4:01 AM on Friday, April 12th, 2013

I think long hair on mature women looks fabulous, especially if it is white or a nice grey. My great grandmother wore hers coiled on her head like a plaited crown, and when she let it down it was to her waist (from pictures I've seen.) I would so like to grow mine out, but have to wear pain patches and apply analgesic ointment 4X daily high up on my neck for nerve damage, so I wear a pixie cut. I think with the right cut and proper maintenance, long hair looks good at any age on a woman.

Be careful what you wish for the most - you may get it.

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tabitha95 ( member #22033) posted at 4:09 AM on Friday, April 12th, 2013

I'm 43 and have long hair and get compliments. My sister has longer hair too and she is 47.

She had a friend who would always tell her that her hair was too long for her age. I always took it as jealousy.

BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

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GrievingMommy ( member #28127) posted at 4:10 AM on Friday, April 12th, 2013

I asked my stylist about this as my hair is down to my lower back. It's healthy and a dark blonde. I get compliments on it all the time.

I asked her if age is an indicator of when to chop it off and she said nope. As long as it's taken care of and looks great - go for it.

I told her to make sure to tell me if my long hair needs to go. She said she'd definitely let me know.

Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

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tabitha95 ( member #22033) posted at 4:11 AM on Friday, April 12th, 2013

Google "celebrities over 40 with long hair". There are a lot of them.

BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

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Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 4:13 AM on Friday, April 12th, 2013

You might want to take a look at this:

http://www.stylelist.com/view/the-best-haircuts-for-women-in-their-40s-50s-and-60s/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl11%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D296511

Lots of long hairstyles on older women...

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

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Grace and Flowers ( member #34431) posted at 7:28 AM on Friday, April 12th, 2013

I posted something on this a few months ago....I have long hair and I just turned 50. My mother is constantly badgering me to cut it...."Women over a certain age should have short hair"! BS!

I love it. As long as it's clean and kept well and it makes YOU happy...do what you want!

Divorced since 2012

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stronger08 ( member #16953) posted at 8:18 AM on Friday, April 12th, 2013

A middle aged guys POV here. I love long hair on women. As long as its kept neat and taken care of I find it a beautifull thing. I had this kinda sorta relationship with a woman this past year and her hair was long. About 6" from her butt. She mostly had it in a pony tail and she looked nice. And wen we went out she would curl it. At 47 she was still getting looks from guys. I took her to a wedding late last year and she had it professionally. I have to say when I saw her I almost died. She looked that beautiful. She is also very petite and very buxomy. So the long hair compliments her very nicely.

You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 6:58 PM on Friday, April 12th, 2013

I think rules like this are outdated & absurd. Do people really make judgements based on age/hair length anymore? How is it even applicable in this day & age?

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

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SoVerySadNow ( member #36711) posted at 8:31 PM on Friday, April 12th, 2013

I have long hair and I'm not a spring chicken. Its hard to tell my age, I am always told- maybe its the longer hair? . I asked my stylist if it was time to hack it off short and he was aghast. He says there aren't rules as far as length, but rules as far as style- have a style that suits you.

[This message edited by SoVerySadNow at 2:46 PM, April 12th (Friday)]

Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 9:01 PM on Friday, April 12th, 2013

Ok SSM let me set you straight her.

1. 40 IS NOT OLD>

2. It's your hair do with it what you want. After all it's only hair, and it will always grow.

3. Get a new hairdresser or call her out on it. It's not like your growing it out to the crack of your behind.

4. I too colored my hair for a long time, trying to cover my grays. Problem was the color just didn't stick to it. Box job, or salon job, or really expensive salon job, it would be off the grays in a matter of days!!! I gave up, and went back to my natural color, and have since started to highlight it. I like it. It brightens my face, blends the grays, and does not require being done more than once every few months. I have seen pics of you and I bet you would look darling with highlights.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

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